When the Guru Rapes: Reprise

Love is not an expression of the intellect; it is not an expression of emotion; it is not an expression of proper relationship. It is an expression of man's deep rooted divinity.

-              Paramhansa Satyananda Saraswati

 

Perhaps it is just a fact of life that our most highly regarded teachers, our saints and gurus, have a shadow side that is as deep and dark as the light they shine.  After all we are all expressions of the collective human psyche.  I wrote about a certain level of disillusionment I experienced with one of my guru’s disciples, Swami Vivekananda, in a previous post (http://mindful-yoga.blogspot.com/2013/10/when-master-rapes.html).  Somehow I clung to the belief that our beloved guru was somehow “out of the link.” 

I heard reports from Australian gurubais in the late eighties about Swamiji’s discipline Akhanandanada who created a scandal in that country.  Being fairly isolated in the U.S. I regarded him as “one bad apple.”  Perhaps I should have put together Vivekananda’s and Akhananda’s behavior and recognized that there just might be a systematic corruption in the organization.  The crazy thing is that I have often felt unworthy of my swami-title because I have never been able to give up sex although I have always been into completely consensual indulgence.

I have been proud to talk about my guru who I believed was better than the others.  He was the real deal.  In my heart I still feel like he was – at least as close as possible in this age.  Of course it is not up to me to forgive him for any sexual abuse he might have done or allowed in his organization.  That is up to the victims.  Please believe me when I say my heart is open to your suffering.

Following my ashram experience with Vivekananda I was compelled to go into the field of counseling psychology and coincidentally ended up working with survivors and perpetrators of sexual abuse.  The underlying keys to healing are empathy and respect, both for ourselves and others.  Just to be clear:  it is never acceptable to have sex with an underage minor (even if it seems to be consensual) nor to use any means of manipulation, force or deviousness to get someone to have sex.  That goes for you ladies too.  

Tantric teachings have become widely available in this age.  Supposedly they were kept secret before in order to avoid their misuse.  Perhaps they were kept secret to prevent their gurus undercover.  Yoga and tantra can lead to liberation but they can also feed our illusion, delusion and confusion.  Going into tantric teachings requires great awareness and discernment.  We learn as much about our shadow through tantra as we do about light.  It is a discipline of fearless awareness.  You have to be willing to see through every one of your cherished illusions. 

I am grateful to Swami Satyananda for all of his teachings, my experiences in his ashram and for making sure I cannot cling to any illusions about him.