He is a wise man who does not grieve for the
things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has." - Epictetus
Gratefulness, forgiveness and love are
positive and joyous emotions that help us to heal and to grow in mind, body and
spirit. The more that we can cultivate
and experience these emotions the better off we are. Most of us are just beginning to realize the
emotions come first and the circumstances of our lives follow rather than the
other way around. Instead of being happy
when we get what we want, we get what we want when we are happy. Of course, when we are already aware of our
intrinsic happiness “things” don’t matter so much.
Depression,
like anxiety, is a negative feedback loop.
What we think and feel is based on the circumstances of our lives, and
the circumstances are based on how we think and feel. The way to change is to break the cycle. Change the way you think to change your
world. Many of us don’t realize however
that our thinking is deeply rooted in unconscious beliefs. In fact they are rooted in a belief system
that is as intricate as a forest ecosystem.
Scientists who are brave enough to investigate the field of
parapsychology have developed a massive amount evidence to support the theory
that we are all interconnected at the level of our collective unconscious
mind.
Changing
our beliefs and our feelings is a conscious process, something that we must
work at consistently over a period of time.
As the Yoga Sutras teach spiritual transformation requires both
consistent practice and non-attachment.
The first step is accepting ourselves fully as we are in the
moment. This means accepting all of the
feelings that we don’t want or have been told we shouldn’t have. As Carl Rogers stated, "The curious
paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change." This is the crux of psychotherapy and
something that even many of us overlook in their zeal for transformation.
We
often increase our suffering due to our aversion to the thoughts and feelings
we experience. We try to deny the
sadness, resentment, anxiety, envy or guilt that we feel. When we suppress these feelings however they
fester within us waiting to explode and overwhelm us at the right
opportunity. By refusing to accept,
experience and examine them we make things worse. Our personalities become warped and
fragmented and our creative power is diminished.
So
the first step is to be aware and to experience. On the other hand we must resist the tendency
to justify, rationalize and defend beliefs and feelings that don’t serve us
well. Negative emotions affect our
physical, mental and spiritual health and neither denying and suppressing nor
rationalizing works to help us release them.
Mindful witnessing does. As Pema
Chödron writes, “To stay with a broken heart, with a rumbling stomach, with the
feeling of hopelessness and wanting to get revenge—that is the path of true
awakening.” Let go of judgment and
avoidance, rationalizing and defending.
Be aware of the underlying cognitions, the thoughts and beliefs
upholding your emotional response. Stay with
them until you move into a deeper place within yourself where you realize that
these thoughts and feelings are not you.
“Spiritual
realization,” writes Echhart Tolle, “is to see clearly that what I perceive,
experience, think, or feel is ultimately not who I am.” Our true nature is just basic awareness -
however there is immense joy, freedom and empowerment in this recognition. Once we are able to detach from our habitual
thoughts and feelings we are free to choose new ones. In the Yoga Sutras Patanjali recommends the
practice of pratipaksha bhavana which is the yogic art of replacing negative
thoughts and feelings with positive ones.
When we are able to do so we are exercising our own intrinsic
freedom. We are not the victims of
circumstances, our past nor our passing moods and emotions. We can choose our internal and external
responses.
The
path to freedom begins with recognition of where we are stuck. Negative emotions are like physical pain,
they tell us that something is wrong. Maybe
something is wrong with our thoughts and attitudes, then again maybe something
is wrong with the way we are being treated.
Awareness and objectivity allows us to discriminate between the
two. There is always a better approach
to situations than guilt and resentment.
Again, once we recognize our inherent freedom we can choose our
response.
Gratitude
is a powerful healing attitude. But for
what and to what are we grateful? If we
are only grateful for the pleasant circumstances of our lives than we are open
to resentment when things don’t go our way.
Our purpose here in this life is to awaken whether we realize it or
not. We are here to awaken from the
dream of small-self-ego to the reality of Deep-Self. Painful circumstances are helpful in our
awakening, pleasant one often keep us dormant.
Great saints give thanks for their suffering because it helps them to
purify themselves and enter more deeply into the freedom of their essential
nature.
This body is not you
This world is not your
sanctuary
Look beyond the bright
lights and the lull of the senses
Look deeper than your
inherited beliefs
It’s all in your mind
But then again “you” are in
your mind
