“Your task is not
to seek for love but merely to seek and find all the barriers within
yourself that you have built against it” ~ Rumi
“Love your fellow
being as you love yourself.” – Jesus
Suppose I am in love with a
beautiful person. I think of her often
and anticipate the opportunities to be with her. She gives me such great pleasure when we are
together, not just sexually but just in our togetherness; and in the feeling
that I am loved and special in her eyes.
I love her because she allows me to love myself. Hopefully I return the compliment. But what happens when something inevitably
goes awry? Perhaps she is not as
attentive as before. Maybe she has ideas
and opinions that I just can’t stand. Maybe
I suspect that she is attracted to someone else . . .
Just as suddenly and
wonderfully the high came on it can be killed.
Then I am back to square one; trying to love myself. If my self-loathing is so strong that I feel
that I just can’t tolerate it, I might just try to manipulate her into some
behavior that might “bring back that loving feeling.” (Any Righteous Brothers fans? Just in case: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QaASwKbUGE.) Truth
is one has to love oneself before he or she can love another.
My sense is that violence
comes out of our inability to accept and love ourselves. Instead we seek to control others so that
they reflect some sort of facsimile of love.
To feel powerful and in control is not even close to feeling loved. This is the tragic side of all of our real
and fictional villains. As soon as we
move into control we have given into fear and have relinquished love. Let God be in control, let Love be control.
Love doesn’t differ between
you and me. In Love we all are One. Ego tries to control out of fear. God moves effortlessly and endlessly out of
Love.
