From Ego to Self

The ego and the Self stand at two opposite ends of our spiritual journey. Our inquiry begins with the ego and culminates in the realization of the Self.
- Swami Shraddhananda

Eastern philosophies whether Yoga Vedanta or Buddhism, tend to regard the reality of our everyday experience as a kind of illusion. In Vedantic terms this is called maya, which is the dualistic world of appearances, name and form. In terms of a modern metaphor; we live in a virtual reality. This reality is constructed by our brain/minds from the frequency fields received through our five senses. It is an interactive and creative process. As physicist John Wheeler put it, we live in “a participatory universe.” Joseph Chilton Pearce writes, “Our perceived environment or lived experience is an end product to which we ipso facto attribute the source of that experience. This common sense, rather inevitable observation is as fundamental an error as attributing the source of the television play being viewed to the machine itself.”

The ego is a character in that play. It is the identity that we assume vis-à-vis the world projected by our psyches. As ego-identified beings we have forgotten the creative source of our experience. This is what Patanjali refers to as avidya, or “ignorance” in the Yoga Sutras. “Avidya,” states the Sutras, “means regarding the impermanent as permanent, the impure as pure, pain as pleasure and the false for the true Self (Atman.)” Everything within our world of experience is impermanent. It is a world in which energy flows into and out of various forms of expression. When we experience a loss in our lives we grieve but somehow the ego still thinks, “It won’t happen to me.” We erect a barrier of psychological denial against the inevitability of death and transformation.

Ego, in this sense, which is different from the psychoanalytic sense, is the product of avidya, or basic ignorance. To reference Patanjali again, “Ego arises out of the false identification of consciousness with the instrument of knowing (i.e. the body-mind.)” The primary field of consciousness from which we originate is infinite and eternal by virtue of not being involved in spacetime. Space and time themselves are constructs of the Self. As Robert Lanza, M.D. writes, “. . . space and time aren't objects -- they're the mind's tools for putting everything together.” Four dimensional spacetime can be seen as the basic parameters of our virtual construct.

In the practice of meditation we are learning to withdraw awareness from its habitual fixation on the senses. This is referred to in Yoga terminology as pratyahara. We are turning away from the projection to explore the process of projecting, the inner workings of the mind. The first step is relaxation. Relaxation means temporarily letting go of the primary drives that keep us engaged in samsara, or maya. These are attachment and aversion. For the duration of practice at least, we stop worrying about how to get what we desire and avoid what we don’t. To truly relax means to let go of seeking or avoiding anything. Of course, this is not so easy. Even when we are sitting with closed eyes in a safe space, our minds are busy recalling past successes and failures, and projecting them onto some imagined future. Meditation does not mean making plans for shopping after your session. Nor does it mean replaying scenes from the past and altering them in an attempt to find some impossible resolution.

Along with relaxation, instead of falling into an unconscious sleep state, we develop the ability to remain present and observe these habitual processes of the mind. Because these processes can be so strong and so frenetic however, we must develop the ability to concentrate. Concentration, or dharana, helps to quiet the mind’s activity. Dharana requires an “object.” The object can be the breath, a mantra, visual image, even a subtle thought that we return to repeatedly. It is a way of centering awareness so that we don’t just get swept away in the next wave of thought. This can be very helpful in breaking the negative cognitive patterns associated with depression and anxiety. Its true purpose is to break the habitual cognitive patterns of the ego, to allow us to see through and beyond them.

This inner practice helps us to develop meta-consciousness, an inner observer or witness. This witnessing awareness allows us to step outside of our usual patterns of mind. It allows us to make changes, to grow and expand consciousness. This witnessing awareness is the presence of the Self. It is the real you, the real me. When we are able to rest and abide for a while in this awareness we have entered into true meditation, or dhyana. Dhyana is the original Sanskrit word which became Ch’an is Chinese and Zen in Japanese. Dhyana means to abide in the Self.

This can be surprising when we first enter into this state of awareness. One finds oneself (Self) somehow outside of the body-mind, not necessarily in the sense of an out-of-body experience (OOBE) as described sometimes, but as a deeper and more expansive awareness which encompasses and transcends the usual ego self-system. It is a deeply relaxed, open and pleasant experience. It can arise very slowly and gradually over a period of practice as we think that there is nothing happening in our meditation. Actually, nothing really “happens.” It is simply a process of going deeper into what is ever-present.

In his most recent book, Be Love Now, Ram Das describes this witnessing awareness:

“One of the first steps in getting free of the attachment to this ego idea is to develop a witness. We have thousands and thousands of me's, but there is one me that is separate and watches all the other me's. It's on a different level of consciousness. It's not just another role; it's part of the heart-mind.

This witness is your leverage in the game. The witness me isn't trying to change any of the other me's. It's not an evaluator or a judge; it's not the superego. It doesn't care about anything. It just observes. "Hmmm, there she or he is doing that again." That witness place inside you is your centering device, your rudder.

The witness is part of your soul. It's witnessing your incarnation, this lifetime, from the heart-mind. It's the beginning of discrimination between your soul and your ego, your real Self and your self in the incarnation. Once you begin to live in this witness place, you begin to shift your identification from the roles and thought forms. As you witness yourself, the process becomes more like watching a movie than being the central character in one.”

The ego tends to be disparaged by many spiritual teachers and aspirants. Although it is an obstacle in a sense, it is also necessary for us to function in the world. The problem is that we become fixated and can’t see beyond our self-definitions. As Ram Das has put it, "The Ego is an exquisite instrument. Enjoy it, use it--just don't get lost in it." The Self is who we really are. It is beyond our self-definitions, imagined limitations, personal likes and dislikes. Although we tend to get very comfortable with these they are like a cage that keeps us confined in a narrow identity and limited experience. The Self has to be experienced to be known. It is not a philosophical concept, nor, of course, is it any kind of objective experience. We find it not in words and discourse but in silence.

References:

Evolution's End: Claiming the Potential of Our Intelligence
The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali: Commentary on the Raja Yoga Sutras by Sri Swami Satchidananda
Biocentrism: How Life and Consciousness are the Keys to Understanding the True Nature of the Universe
Be Love Now: The Path of the Heart