Our divine perfection – not
registered by the physical eye but only by the heart’s knowing – is who we
truly are. Our mortal imperfections – registered by the physical senses – are
not who we truly are. Yet we keep trying, in love, to find each other’s
perfection within the world of imperfection. And it simply is not there.
-
Marianne
Williamson
The very idea that we are whole and
perfect in and as who we are tends to upset some people. We have been conditioned to think of
ourselves as flawed, subject to “original sin” or victims of random genetic
mutation. In terms of psychoanalysis we
are inherently driven by lust and aggression.
In our competitive society we are always comparing ourselves to one
another, envious of another’s success and anxious about our own. Sometimes we connect with someone on a deeper
level, but even then we tend to mistake their form for their essence.
The place to start though is not by
trying recognize someone else’s inherent perfection but accepting one’s
own. There are so many layers of
judgment, expectation, criticism and self-condemnation that we heap upon
ourselves that it requires some serious effort to learn to love ourselves as we
are. We certainly are not raised to
believe in our innate self-worth.
I was raised in a Catholic household
and started going to confession at age seven.
I remember thinking that it would be great if I got killed in an
accident immediately following confession before my sinful nature caused me to
mess up again. Public school wasn’t any
better. I was constantly criticized for
my behavior and this was reinforced by my parents when I got home. I tried sports but was mediocre at best. I loved art and got some recognition for my
talents but never felt they were truly good enough.
Of course my story is similar to
everyone else. We are judged and
criticized for our behavior, grades, looks, abilities and more. We end up feeling like we are never quite
good enough or truly worthy of love and respect. We learn to judge and criticize ourselves in
order to beat others to the punch. We
believe that we need to perform and achieve in order to be worthy of our
existence.
This whole idea of unworthiness is a
game we’ve learned to play in our minds.
We were born worthy as expressions of universal life-energy. There is never a moment when we are not loved
and appreciated as children of God. We
are beings of love, loving and lovable.
It is the lies of the world that have given us this notion of
unworthiness. Spirit doesn’t consider
whether we are worthy or unworthy, doesn’t judge or condemn.
When one lets go of self-judgment,
comparison and condemnation, one is truly able to love without lust, anger,
jealousy, etc. Self-love is the entrance
way into realization of one’s true nature, one’s innate perfection.
The best way to begin is to develop
the ability to witness oneself. Instead
of identifying with thoughts, feelings, or sensations we can learn to be aware
of them. Instead of believing our
thoughts about ourselves we can learn to observe them simply as thoughts. Instead of being overwhelmed by our emotions
we can experience and release them. We
have been taught to feel guilty about our negative mental states: desire,
anger, greed, delusion, pride and jealousy.
If we face them, however, with open awareness they are transformed and
actually bring us back to our essential nature as beings of love.
When we start to let go of the core
belief of our unworthiness we start to glimpse our innate perfection. Everyone experiences negative mental states
from time to time. They are part of
nature. However we don’t have to let
them define or control us. Nor do we
have to fight and suppress them. Instead
we can simply observe them as they arise within us and let them be transformed
through awareness.
If we pay attention to life around us
we notice that murderers, thieves, addicts can be transformed through grace and
that wealthy, successful, beautiful people can be inwardly quite
miserable. The outward appearance of
things is deceiving. Underneath it all
is just the perfect wholeness of being expressing in its infinite variety. We are never not whole. Each and every one of is God in
disguise.
