Trust Your Self

"He who does not enjoy solitude will not love freedom."
~ Arthur Schopenhauer

We have been conditioned to believe. both by our religious and scientisitic traditions that we are nothings.  Our religious traditions have taught us that we are miserable worthless sinners and our scientific-materialist culture has taught us that we are chance anomalies in a meaningless universe.  Neither could be further from the truth.  We are what the universe is doing right now.  Each of us is a formative manifestation inseparable from our infinite source.

The Consciousness factor within us is the creative source of everything.  When spiritual teachers say “God is within you” they’re not saying that “He” is hidden somewhere in your body, or even in your mind.  He is the source of illumination, awareness, being.  The only way we could be apart from God is if we didn’t exist.  But we do.

Culture tells us that we have to conform, that we have to contribute (on its terms) that we have to earn the right to be here.  That is fucking nonsense!  You and I are by the grace of the greater “I am.”  Forget all the crap you have learned about who you are and who you’re supposed to be.  You are Divine manifestation.

    Don’t get big-headed though.  So is everyone you meet.

Beyond Sex

From where do the thoughts come and from where does the consciousness emanate? There are thousands of such questions which man has not been able to answer. We can discuss and explain them very clearly in theoretical terms, but they will never be understood in this way, because this mysterious substance is not a matter of knowledge, but of experience. We may have perfected our intellectual concepts; we may comprehend the nature of the substance in perfect mathematical terms and be able to explain it in thousands of equations, but the ultimate thing that needs to be achieved is 'the experience'. – Swami Satyananda Saraswati

Sexual energy is central to our human experience.  It is the primal impulse of life and evolution.  On the most superficial level, it is how we maintain and evolve the species.  As Darwin noted, it is an ingenious way that nature has come up with to up the ante on natural selection.  Human sexuality however is obviously much more than this.  Human beings have sex for pleasure, often at odds with its procreative consequences.  Unlike our closest relatives in the animal kingdom, we are not driven by the seasonal impulse of estrus.  Instead we are potentially horny all the time.

Yoga is part of Tantra, and Tantra focuses on sexual energy as the evolutionary transformative potential residing within us.  It is the universal creative impulse working through this human form.  As Andrew Cohen writes in Evolutionary Enlightenment:

“The easiest place to locate the evolutionary impulse is at the most basic level of your being: the physical body. In the body, the desire to create form is expressed as the sexual impulse—the biological imperative to procreate. It's the most elemental expression of the First Cause, or the big bang. That's why it's so powerful! When we experience the sexual impulse, we are feeling that very same vibration that released the enormous energy of the entire cosmic process, pulsating in our own bodies and minds.”

No wonder it feels so good!

Sexual energy is an aspect of Kundalini, which is the creative energy of the universe within this human embodiment.  Although we tend to think of ourselves as separate bodies in space and time we are not really separate from the entire time space continuum.  We are expressions of a universal creative conscious/energy (SivaShakti) who have come into form in space and time.  As we awaken to this fact through direct experience we become enlightened. 

Sex has the dual capacity to help us awaken or to drive us further into unconsciousness.  If we stay fixated on the physical act of sex we run the risk of failing to awaken to our authentic Self which is beyond the body.  Tantric sadhana is about using the sexual impulse to move beyond the body.  Within the experience of orgasm itself we momentarily find ourselves beyond the body, beyond time and space, luminous, timeless and forever free.  Unfortunately for most of us, the orgasm dissipates so quickly that we barely register this experience before falling back into conditioned consciousness.  A wonderful Tantric text, Vijnana Bhairava Tantra, gives some clues for using the sexual experience to awaken.  “When you practice a sex ritual,” it states, “let thought reside in the quivering of your senses like wind in the leaves, and reach the celestial bliss of ecstatic love.” 

Another verse states, “At the start of the union, be in the fire of the energy released by intimate sensual pleasure. Merge into the divine Shakti and keep burning in space, avoiding the ashes at the end. These delights are in truth those of the Self.”  In other words, don’t rush towards orgasm but open your awareness.  Awareness is the space in which we burn.  Meditation practice is generally a prerequisite for being able to enter these states. 

     Ultimately meditation can take us beyond the need for physical sex.  Many Tantric practitioners go through periods of celibacy as a way of enhancing their meditative experience.  The same energy that goes into procreation can be channeled for the expansion of consciousness.

Overcoming Obstacles in Meditation (and in Life)

In the course of evolution the mind has manifested in the form of human life, but by no means is this mind perfect and infallible. Though it is a gift of nature, the mind also has its limitations. It has to depend on the sensory channels for information and stimulation. Therefore, the Raja Yoga Sutras contend that this imperfect mind can be made more perfect and efficient through the practice of sadhana.

-    Swami Satyananda Saraswati

The benefits of contemplative practice, or sadhana, have been known for centuries and throughout world cultures.  Recent scientific investigation has been substantiating many of the claims made by ancient traditions.  Meditation has been shown to help reduce stress, improve immune functioning, slow or even reverse the effects of aging, improve cognitive functioning, mood, relationships, etc.  (You can go to http://www.ineedmotivation.com/blog/2008/05/100-benefits-of-meditation/ for an extensive list.)  Of course the Yoga tradition points to the importance of meditation for spiritual realization. 

Many people complain however that they find meditation hard to practice.  Busy schedules, family responsibilities, habitual distractions all get in the way.  However, most of the time these are more like excuses.  The real obstacles are procrastination and avoidance.  It is very hard for some to simply sit still and turn their attention inward.  It takes inspiration, determination, willingness and some measure of social support.  Most of us can benefit from a class or meditation group, however it is important to build one’s own strength of commitment and to maintain an individual practice as well.

In the Yoga Sutras Patanjali outlines nine obstacles to practice: illness, dullness of mind, doubt, negligence, laziness, sensual attachments, intellectual confusion, failure to establish stages of practice and slipping from established stages.  I have to admit that I have experienced and succumbed to all of these over the years of my practice.  As we enter into spiritual practice we have opposing forces operating within us.  One is spiritual inspiration.  We want to be healthy and happy, to grow and develop on all levels and to connect with and express our inner resources of wisdom, compassion, joy, creativity, etc.  On the other hand we are subject to an inertia which tends to keep us stuck in our usual patterns. 

Illness, of course, is sometimes inevitable in life.  However we can eliminate a great deal of physical illness by simply taking care of our bodies – eating healthy, getting enough rest, proper exercise including hatha yoga.  We can also develop fortitude of mind so that we are not so distracted by health problems.  It is important to understand that we are not our bodies, they are the energetic vehicles through which we experience this life.  Studies show that by developing witnessing awareness we can better learn to manage physical pain.  Through meditation practice we liberate the mind from physical limitations.

Dullness of mind, doubt, negligence, laziness, sensual attachment and intellectual confusion are all interrelated.  Some mornings I feel like there is a fog in my brain.  It’s like the higher functions don’t have enough juice and I stumble around in a semi-conscious state.  Doubt has to do with a lack of faith in the practice itself.  We wonder is it worth it?  Through negligence we fall into a lack of deeper awareness and through laziness we just go with the unconscious flow of our material conditioning. 

Sensual attachment is a problem for most of us.  Sensual experience is not “bad” but we become addicted to pleasure and comfort.  We cannot develop our power of mind if we are fixated on sensual objects.  Awareness is the key here.  Experience with nonattached awareness and don’t hold onto experiences in your mind.  Intellectual confusion doesn’t really mean adhering to the “correct” belief system of philosophy.  Instead it is our tendency to intellectualize everything.  Spiritual consciousness means returning to a basic simplicity of experience, to immediate experience and open awareness.  We need to let go of judging, comparing, analyzing, etc.  Again, these have their place but they get in the way of meditative experience.  They interfere with our ability to focus deeply.

The “failure to reach stages of practice” has to do with our expectations.  There is a legendary Mahasiddha (great yogi) named Virupa who became disenchanted with his practice at one point and threw his mala (prayer beads) into the latrine.  He was actually just on the verge of great realization.  Similarly we can become disheartened when we fail to achieve some imagined state of disembodied bliss and give up our practice.  On the other hand, it is very common to have wonderful meditation experiences but then slip back into ordinary and painful states of consciousness.  The important point is to never give up.

The obstacles to meditation are also clearly obstacles to our goals in life.  When we let procrastination, self-doubt and negative thinking dominate we surrender our innate power and become victims of our imaginary limitations.  Yoga is not about achieving some transcendent escape from life but mastery of life.  It is about harnessing the latent energies within us.  As Patanjali put it:

"When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds: Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great, and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be."

Exceptional individuals in all areas of life have learned to develop this power to some degree.  Yoga meditation is profound method for developing it within ourselves.