Inner Yoga

 

The firm control of the senses and the mind is the yoga of concentration (dharana).  One must be ever watchful for this yoga is difficult to acquire and easy to lose.  – Katha Upanishad

 

Most yoga classes seem to focus primarily on asanas – the physical postures of yoga.  The practice of asanas is truly valuable, it promotes flexibility, mobility, circulation and overall physical and psychological balance.  It is an essential aspect of yoga, one of eight aspects or “limbs” of yoga.  If we only practices asanas, we are missing out on other equally essential aspects of yoga.

Yoga is a methodology of self-transformation.  However it is not a matter of making ourselves into something we are not but of clearing away the stuff that keeps us from knowing, living and expressing our authentic being.  Asana works with the physical body and its energy (prana.) The body is the physical, outer vehicle of the soul.  Pranayama, or breath practice, compliments asana by bringing the life energy into balance.  In Satyananda’s integral yoga asana and pranayama are always practiced together along with some form of meditation practice.  This is because it is necessary for the outer vehicle (karana), i.e. body, and the inner vehicle (antarkarana), i.e. mind, to function in an optimum state of balance and harmony for the essential Self (atman) to manifest through them. 

The Yoga Sutras outline eight aspects or limbs of yoga: 1. Yama (self-restraint), 2. Niyama (fixed rules) http://mindful-yoga.blogspot.com/2012/08/finding-moksha-through-yama-and-niyama.html 3. Asana (posture 4. Pranayama (breath control) 5. Pratyahara (sensory withdrawal) 6. Dharana (concentration) 7. Dhyana (meditation) 8. Samadhi (transcendental consciousness).  Of these the first four limbs are known as the “outer limbs” (bahirangas).  This is external yoga which helps to prepare our vehicle for the next four which are known as the internal limbs (antarangas).  The outer limbs of yoga are important preparation for the inner. However we might want to avoid being stuck on the superficial level.

The inner limbs of yoga are what it’s all about.  I like to joke with my students who are struggling with asanas by pointing out that working with the body is easy when compared to working with the mind.  In truth, working with the body is working with the mind.  Our Western notion that they are separate is not part of yoga.  Working with the body helps us to understand “it” as the vehicle of our awareness.  “The aim of yoga is the complete cessation of the mind. The body is like a container, or pot. The mind is like water. The slightest movement of the pot disturbs the stillness of the water. Therefore unless the body remains, through practice, in a state of rest, the mind within can never reach a state of tranquility. The tranquil mind, through yogic practice, reaches the state of non-mind, which is the supreme state of samadhi, or total God Consciousness.”  (Shudhaanandaa Brahmachari)

Nirvikalpa Samadhi is the ultimate state of consciousness according to yoga.  It is a state of complete ego-transcendence and nondual awareness.  It is a state unfathomable to our ordinary ego minds.  At the same time it is a state of contact with absolute reality beneath the mirage of name and form.  This may be hard to understand and one might ask, “Why would one desire this Samadhi?”  It is because it is freedom; freedom from suffering on all levels: physical, psychological and spiritual.

Because we are immersed in ego consciousness, i.e. duality, we either tend not to recognize how miserable we are or we simply accept it as inevitable.  Ego consciousness locks us into suffering.  As Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche explains, “We must recognize ego for what it is—a pain identity. We have a constant dialogue of pain talking to pain, which is what usually guides us or drives us, sometimes driving us crazy. And no matter how smart or sophisticated, ego only operates within the logic of pain, and therefore produces more pain. Perhaps it is time to discover there is something other than ego to turn toward and to trust.” 

Spiritual evolution begins with what yoga refers to as pratyahara, disconnecting from the appearances of the senses. It is about turning inwards to investigate our inner being. Instead of paying attention to what we see, hear, touch, taste or smell meditation entails being aware of the inner dimensions of our beings.  The sense are like doors which we learn to close in order to find inner peace and quiet.  Ultimately meditation leads us into awareness of the ultimate subjective essence of our beings, the experiencer apart from any particular experience.

When one begins to introvert awareness one encounters the mind.  Actually we encounter what is often referred to as the “monkey mind.”  The monkey mind jumps from one thought to the next constantly.  It is completely addicted to the sensory world and its various dramas.  It is also beset with underlying unconscious traumas and desires.  The monkey mind is completely concerned with security and pleasure.  It is present in all of us and can be an obstacle to meditation.

We also encounter the verbal autonomic mind, which Carlos Castaneda refers to as the “inner dialogue.”  “The internal dialogue is what grounds people in the daily world. The world is such and such or so and so, only because we talk to ourselves about its being such and such and so and so. The passageway into the world of shamans opens up after the warrior has learned to shut off his internal dialogue.” Our internal dialogue is really just a somewhat sophisticated instrument of our monkey minds.  It is a symbolic map of reality that we take to be reality itself, forgetting that reality itself is always a mystery.  In this regard the shaman, yogi and mystic are all quite similar.

The next step as we climb the tree of yoga is dharana.  Dharana means focus, concentration and mental discipline.  Many claim that concentration is difficult.  The reality however is that we are always concentrating on one thing or another.  Dharana means taking control of the automatic movements and fixations of our minds.  This is actually the most important task we can undertake in our lives.  Dharana means mastering attention.  Attention-energy is our most essential power.  It is the basis of our experience, of our “reality.”  At the same time our essential power has been subject to unconscious conditioning which has enslaved our souls. 

Dharana or concentration is an essential discipline for the mind. Ordinarily, our minds are dissipated and beset with worries, fears, regrets or fantasies. Dharana helps us to reclaim the creative power of the mind. Remember: your thoughts create your reality.  "The firm control of the senses and the mind is the yoga of concentration. One must be ever watchful for this yoga is difficult to acquire and easy to lose." Says the Katha Upanishad.

It is so important for us to gain control over our attentional patterns.  Our world of experience is created out of them.  They are the basis for the neural circuits in our brains.  They determine our perceptions, emotional responses and behavior.  As young children we live in a dream world.  Are brains operate at a theta brain wave frequency which is both very creative and very open to suggestion.  It is during these early years that we are programmed by our culture into perceiving and believing in our consensus reality.  As Don Miguel Ruiz writes:

“Attention is the ability we have to discriminate and to focus only on that which we want to perceive.  We can perceive millions of thing simultaneously, but using our attention, we can hold whatever we want to perceive in the foreground of our mind.  The adults around us hooked our attention and put information in our minds through repetition.  That is the way we learned everything we know.

By using our attention we learned a whole reality, a whole dream.  We learned how to behave in society; what to believe and what not to believe; what is acceptable and what is not acceptable; what is good and what is bad; what is beautiful and what is ugly; what is right and what is wrong.  It was all there already – all that knowledge, all those rules and concepts about how to behave in the world.”  (The Four Agreements)

The problem is that underneath this veneer of a world and ego self, there is our soul.  There is a dreamer behind the dream.  Yoga is a means of awakening both within the dream and beyond it.  As Swami Sivananda Radha put it, “Yoga is a process of dehypnotizing and waking up.”  As we awaken it is just like lucid dreaming.  We develop the ability to “manifest.”  However as we further awaken we start to lose interest in dream realities and more prone to rest in the peace and bliss of our own true being.  We realize that within everyone we meet there is a luminous divine being who is lost in this dream.  Awakening and liberating ourselves and others becomes the issue of paramount importance. 

The next limb on the tree of yoga is dhyana, or effortless meditation.  Dhyana arises out of dharana.  In other words, meditation is not something we practice but a state of consciousness.  It develops with proficiency of concentration.  Focusing on one thing enables us to bring the mind into a state of quiet and stillness.  With the arising of dhyana we are able to abide in that stillness for longer periods of time.  Dhyana is actually the initial stage of awakening.  It is a wonderful state of peace in which the world and its concerns fall into the distant background.  It is a taste of moksha, or liberation; freedom from stress, pain, disease, striving or avoiding. 

The final branch on the tree of yoga is Samadhi.  The Sanskrit term, Samadhi, means “to be established in a state of perfect equilibrium.”  Again this is not a practice so much as a state of consciousness.  It arises out of going deep into dhyana.  There are various stages of Samadhi but they can be reduced to two primary categories: “savikalpa” and “nirvikalpa.”  Savikalpa Samadhi is based on the inner union of the meditator and the object of meditation.  It implies an attachment to either a “gross” sensory object of attention or a subtle mental “object.”  As long as there is dependency on an object there is a tendency to fall back into ordinary, dualistic consciousness. 

Nirvikalpa Samadhi is something else.  In this state all sense of a separate ego is transcended.  One’s individual consciousness is merged completely with Universal Being, Sat-Chit-Ananda.  As Swami Sivananda explained,

“Nirvikalpa Samadhi is pure absolute consciousness.  It is Christ consciousness.  Here there are no names and forms, no sound or color, neither matter nor energy.  Jesus said, “The Kingdom of God is within you.”  The Kingdom of God is not a place but a state of consciousness.  It is non-dual consciousness wherein the mind, senses and intellect cease functioning.  It is the realm of intuition.” 

It is a common misinterpretation to assume that the goal of yoga is to escape from this world completely.  The problem is that on our lower level of consciousness we can’t understand what Samadhi entails.  It is complete connection with our Source energy.  Realized beings become very powerful agents for consciousness evolution in this world, if that is what they are called to do.  Seeking Samadhi is not selfish as much as self-purification.  As Ram Dass says, “The only thing we have to offer to others is our own state of being.”  Samadhi allows us access to a state of absolute, unconditional love.  I can think of nothing better than to be in and live in that state.

The Love of God

 

The eye through which I see God is the same eye through which God sees me; my eye and God's eye are one eye, one seeing, one knowing, one love.

Meister Eckhardt

 

For many of us “God” is some mysterious entity apart from us and our world of experience.  We love such a God abstractly as our creator and benefactor (as well as fear him as our judge and punisher.)  Such a God is truly hard to love and sometimes when we look at the apparent evil and suffering in this world we are tempted to become angry and resentful.  Or we may simply lose faith.

Meditation traditions teach us to look for God within ourselves.  However, this might seem like ultimate hubris.  After all, how can a miserable sinner claim to be God?  And as ego-identified beings we can’t because we have separated ourselves from God.  In fact, all of the apparent evil and suffering in this world is rooted in this sense of separation, in ignorance or avidya.

It is by breaking down the internal structures that prop up the ego that we can awaken to the reality that God is Love.  On the other hand, the ego structures dissolve with the awakening of love as well.  God is not something or someone apart from us but is our deepest most essential being.  As Anita Moorjani writes in Dying to Be Me, “In truth I am not my body, my race, religion, or other beliefs, and neither is anyone else.  The real self is infinite and much more powerful – a complete and whole entity that isn’t broken or damaged in any way.  The infinite me already contains all the resources I need to navigate through life, because I’m One with Universal energy.  In fact I am Universal energy.”

The Bible tells us that idolatry is a sin.  A sin is actually a mistake.  It is a mistaken perception.  Our biggest sin is to believe in the “idol” of duality.  This is what causes the whole cascade of negative emotions based in fear.  Duality is not invalid as a perception but our belief that dualistic perception is ultimate reality is.  The ego buys into duality, believes that it is the body, race, religion, etc.  Spirit is beyond any of our mind-forged, limited definitions. 

Spiritual practice can seem like a tricky proposal.  On one hand it is the ego that believes that it must engage in some practice to make “spiritual progress.”  On the other hand authentic spiritual practice systematically breaks down the subconscious structures that support duality.  Meditation helps us to observe thoughts rather than be controlled by them.  In this way it can lead us into the deeper inner silence.  Inner silence is where we discover our spiritual essence.  It is an inner state of peace, love and freedom.  As one of the members of our meditation group says, “Meditation is like a mini-vacation without having to go anywhere.”  With on-going practice we start to realize that meditation is our true home. 

Meditation is facilitated by Bhakti yoga: the yoga of love and devotion.  Most practitioners need the support of an “Ishta Devata,” a particular form in which to worship God.  In a sense this may seem like idolatry, however the purpose is to transcend duality so that self and God are recognized as the same Being.  So it doesn’t matter if one is devoted to Jesus, Buddha, Krishna or Kali.  I like to say that I prefer Ganesha because I like my god as a fat little boy with an elephant’s head.  (There is actually deep symbolism in the image of Ganesha, as well as other meditative images, which speaks to a deeper part of our psyches.) 

The primary practice of Bhakti yoga is kirtan, or devotional chanting.  Kirtan involves the elements of mantra, melody and rhythm which together have a powerful harmonizing effect on mind, body and spirit.  As Krishna Das a renowned Western practitioner says "Chanting is a way of getting in touch with yourself. It's an opening of the heart and letting go of the mind and thoughts. It deepens the channel of grace, and it's a way of being present in the moment."  Following chanting we can let ourselves move easily into that state of inner silence.

If you are unfamiliar with kirtan you might begin by listening to the recordings of Krishna Das, Girish, Karnamrita, Ragani, Temple Bhajan Band, etc.  Also look around for opportunities to join a kirtan gathering.  If you are in my area you a certainly invited to join ours!  The most important things is begin to sing along, let your heart open and be expressed through your voice.  Dancing is optional but very acceptable.  Let go of preoccupations, self-consciousness and concerns about your musical abilities.  Let go of ego and open to Love.

* Here is a taste of kirtan.  Just me without rhythmic or vocal accompaniment: https://soundcloud.com/turiyaom/om-namah-shivayasri-krishna-govinda

Recognizing Our Innate Perfection

 

 

Our divine perfection – not registered by the physical eye but only by the heart’s knowing – is who we truly are. Our mortal imperfections – registered by the physical senses – are not who we truly are. Yet we keep trying, in love, to find each other’s perfection within the world of imperfection. And it simply is not there.

-          Marianne Williamson

 

The very idea that we are whole and perfect in and as who we are tends to upset some people.  We have been conditioned to think of ourselves as flawed, subject to “original sin” or victims of random genetic mutation.  In terms of psychoanalysis we are inherently driven by lust and aggression.  In our competitive society we are always comparing ourselves to one another, envious of another’s success and anxious about our own.  Sometimes we connect with someone on a deeper level, but even then we tend to mistake their form for their essence. 

The place to start though is not by trying recognize someone else’s inherent perfection but accepting one’s own.  There are so many layers of judgment, expectation, criticism and self-condemnation that we heap upon ourselves that it requires some serious effort to learn to love ourselves as we are.  We certainly are not raised to believe in our innate self-worth.

I was raised in a Catholic household and started going to confession at age seven.  I remember thinking that it would be great if I got killed in an accident immediately following confession before my sinful nature caused me to mess up again.  Public school wasn’t any better.  I was constantly criticized for my behavior and this was reinforced by my parents when I got home.  I tried sports but was mediocre at best.  I loved art and got some recognition for my talents but never felt they were truly good enough.

Of course my story is similar to everyone else.  We are judged and criticized for our behavior, grades, looks, abilities and more.  We end up feeling like we are never quite good enough or truly worthy of love and respect.  We learn to judge and criticize ourselves in order to beat others to the punch.  We believe that we need to perform and achieve in order to be worthy of our existence. 

This whole idea of unworthiness is a game we’ve learned to play in our minds.  We were born worthy as expressions of universal life-energy.  There is never a moment when we are not loved and appreciated as children of God.  We are beings of love, loving and lovable.  It is the lies of the world that have given us this notion of unworthiness.  Spirit doesn’t consider whether we are worthy or unworthy, doesn’t judge or condemn.

When one lets go of self-judgment, comparison and condemnation, one is truly able to love without lust, anger, jealousy, etc.  Self-love is the entrance way into realization of one’s true nature, one’s innate perfection. 

The best way to begin is to develop the ability to witness oneself.  Instead of identifying with thoughts, feelings, or sensations we can learn to be aware of them.  Instead of believing our thoughts about ourselves we can learn to observe them simply as thoughts.  Instead of being overwhelmed by our emotions we can experience and release them.  We have been taught to feel guilty about our negative mental states: desire, anger, greed, delusion, pride and jealousy.  If we face them, however, with open awareness they are transformed and actually bring us back to our essential nature as beings of love.

When we start to let go of the core belief of our unworthiness we start to glimpse our innate perfection.  Everyone experiences negative mental states from time to time.  They are part of nature.  However we don’t have to let them define or control us.  Nor do we have to fight and suppress them.  Instead we can simply observe them as they arise within us and let them be transformed through awareness. 

If we pay attention to life around us we notice that murderers, thieves, addicts can be transformed through grace and that wealthy, successful, beautiful people can be inwardly quite miserable.  The outward appearance of things is deceiving.  Underneath it all is just the perfect wholeness of being expressing in its infinite variety.  We are never not whole.  Each and every one of is God in disguise. 

No Soul Left Behind

“May I attain Buddhahood for the benefit of all sentient beings.”

-          Bodhisattva Vow

 

One reason I am attracted to Buddhist thought has to do with this ideal of the Bodhisattva.  A Bodhisattva is a being who has not only undertaken the task of becoming enlightened but, once enlightened, has vowed to remain in the realms of suffering in order to liberate others.  In fact the vow or intention is to remain in samsara until all beings are liberated.  So the bodhisattva (i.e. one who has taken the vows) forgoes the bliss of ultimate transcendence in order to be of service to others in their spiritual awakening.  The realization of our interconnectedness and the compassion that arises from this is a core aspect of Buddhist doctrine.

I was brought up as a Christian (although I doubt that Christianity as now defined and practiced has much to do with the actual teachings of Jesus Christ.)  As a child I was taught that certain of us would be saved both because we held the correct belief system and because we tried really hard to be good.  Of course, even if we were bad, we were forgiven by virtue of adhering to the correct belief system.  I even heard the idea expressed that those of us who made it to heaven would look down upon those poor bastards in hell with a justified sense of superiority. 

The Bodhisattva is ready to descend into hell in order to help those poor bastards out.  I’m sorry but this is a core distinction in spiritual thought.  It is the difference between dualistic vision and nondual awakening.  As a facebook friend and teacher, Shambhavi Sarasvati, puts it, “Everyone, without exception, is a small fish in a small pond. That is, until you realize there is only one fish, but then size doesn't matter.”  (And all this time I was worried about size.)

Seriously though, compassionate love, or agape, as Jesus taught is about recognizing our unity within our diversity.  It is realizing that we are all here as a temporary stopover on an eternal journey home.  We will only get “there” when we realize that we are one and already home. 

Another Disintegrated Idol

“Sometimes people don't want to hear the truth because they don't want their illusions destroyed.”

― Friedrich Nietzsche

 

Some of you will laugh but I had to put my guru’s picture away to day.  I had been fighting for some time to come to terms with allegations of his sexual and physical abuse of his followers.  After all he preached love, nonviolence, truth and yoga as a spiritual discipline far beyond the studios that are popular these days.  I believed in him as a living saint, a true yogi and master.  Although I have been separated from his organization for many years I still kept his picture mounted and prayed to him when I practiced meditation.  And, honestly, for me he was a benevolent guru who taught me wonderful practices, guided me in spiritual philosophy and, up until now, represented the model of a true realized being.  However, a recent first-hand account of his sexual and violent misuse of some of his followers hit home hard.

I am incredibly embarrassed and at the same time grateful that I was unable to fully commit myself and my family to him and his organization.  At one time I sincerely wanted to, however I encountered some of his followers and some of the sick politics of the organization which put me off.  Somehow, though, I clung to the belief that he was not part of that.  It was all just the unenlightened garbage of his disciples.  However it is now clear that he himself was at the center of the abuse and dysfunction of his organization. 

Did I mention that I am a licensed family therapist in practice for nearly 30 years?  Honestly, my intuitional guidance system was alerting me from the start.  I originally studied yoga with one of his closest followers who came here to the US.  He impressed me with his calm manner, apparent nonattachment to material wealth and his charisma.  However he pressed me to accept his guru as mine as well.  I looked at his picture and felt uncomfortable.  I passed it off though as a reaction of my “ego.”  I was already accepting indoctrination in the philosophy of ego-surrender. 

Watch out for any teacher or organization that tells you that you need to surrender your ego.  In fact watch out for religious organizations and leaders in general.  Here is a good article which applies as much to organized religion as it does “cults” http://www.spiritscienceandmetaphysics.com/10-reasons-you-should-never-have-a-religion/   Never, never, never surrender your sovereignty to another person or organization.  Not even to seemingly benevolent aliens, angels or archetypes.  The individual sense of self-hood is a miraculous gift.  Don’t relinquish it to anyone except maybe God herself.  You can transcend your limited ego-identity in meditation and come to an understanding of your interconnectedness with all beings.  That is enlightenment.  To massage guru’s feet while he sits on a throne and you take his or her abuse is darkness. 

The guru system, the priesthood system, the authoritarian system is and always was spiritually bankrupt.  It is a con that appeals to our deepest longings to have someone else responsible for our difficult existential search.  Spiritual awakening means taking responsibility for our own search, condition and selfhood.  As soon as we do that we are well on our way!

When the Guru Rapes: Reprise

Love is not an expression of the intellect; it is not an expression of emotion; it is not an expression of proper relationship. It is an expression of man's deep rooted divinity.

-              Paramhansa Satyananda Saraswati

 

Perhaps it is just a fact of life that our most highly regarded teachers, our saints and gurus, have a shadow side that is as deep and dark as the light they shine.  After all we are all expressions of the collective human psyche.  I wrote about a certain level of disillusionment I experienced with one of my guru’s disciples, Swami Vivekananda, in a previous post (http://mindful-yoga.blogspot.com/2013/10/when-master-rapes.html).  Somehow I clung to the belief that our beloved guru was somehow “out of the link.” 

I heard reports from Australian gurubais in the late eighties about Swamiji’s discipline Akhanandanada who created a scandal in that country.  Being fairly isolated in the U.S. I regarded him as “one bad apple.”  Perhaps I should have put together Vivekananda’s and Akhananda’s behavior and recognized that there just might be a systematic corruption in the organization.  The crazy thing is that I have often felt unworthy of my swami-title because I have never been able to give up sex although I have always been into completely consensual indulgence.

I have been proud to talk about my guru who I believed was better than the others.  He was the real deal.  In my heart I still feel like he was – at least as close as possible in this age.  Of course it is not up to me to forgive him for any sexual abuse he might have done or allowed in his organization.  That is up to the victims.  Please believe me when I say my heart is open to your suffering.

Following my ashram experience with Vivekananda I was compelled to go into the field of counseling psychology and coincidentally ended up working with survivors and perpetrators of sexual abuse.  The underlying keys to healing are empathy and respect, both for ourselves and others.  Just to be clear:  it is never acceptable to have sex with an underage minor (even if it seems to be consensual) nor to use any means of manipulation, force or deviousness to get someone to have sex.  That goes for you ladies too.  

Tantric teachings have become widely available in this age.  Supposedly they were kept secret before in order to avoid their misuse.  Perhaps they were kept secret to prevent their gurus undercover.  Yoga and tantra can lead to liberation but they can also feed our illusion, delusion and confusion.  Going into tantric teachings requires great awareness and discernment.  We learn as much about our shadow through tantra as we do about light.  It is a discipline of fearless awareness.  You have to be willing to see through every one of your cherished illusions. 

I am grateful to Swami Satyananda for all of his teachings, my experiences in his ashram and for making sure I cannot cling to any illusions about him.

Mindful Acceptance and Gratitude

Love asks for no return, no gratitude. Everyone is God in the process of evolution. Identify yourself with everything that lives. In love lies the salvation of all beings and the world. – Swami Sivananda

 

Everyone has a complaint sometimes.  The ideal of gratitude can be misused sometimes as well.  Have you ever been told “You should be grateful?”  Some people have very hard lives, feel powerless and victimized.  In some ways they may be right.  We need to complain sometimes and make sure that our complaints are heard and attended to. 

Then again, there are those of us who complain all the time.  It seems that nothing is ever right and we can never be satisfied.  The mindful approach is to accept everything, everyone including yourself exactly as it is at this moment.  Even if you are experiencing some feelings of dissatisfaction.  Let everything be just as it is.  This open awareness and acceptance actually transforms everything.

Gratitude is powerful.  It can help relieve depression, heal our bodies and open our hearts.  Realize that everything in your life right now is precisely what you need for your spiritual evolution.  It doesn’t necessarily make sense on a rational level but it does on a deeper soul level.  It’s not so much about “learning to love yourself” as realizing that “yourself” is a fictional character.  All that really exists is love. 

Allow each moment to be as it is and let your actions arise from the state of Loving Awareness. 

Or not.  It’s up to you and me.