Mindful Acceptance and Gratitude

Love asks for no return, no gratitude. Everyone is God in the process of evolution. Identify yourself with everything that lives. In love lies the salvation of all beings and the world. – Swami Sivananda

 

Everyone has a complaint sometimes.  The ideal of gratitude can be misused sometimes as well.  Have you ever been told “You should be grateful?”  Some people have very hard lives, feel powerless and victimized.  In some ways they may be right.  We need to complain sometimes and make sure that our complaints are heard and attended to. 

Then again, there are those of us who complain all the time.  It seems that nothing is ever right and we can never be satisfied.  The mindful approach is to accept everything, everyone including yourself exactly as it is at this moment.  Even if you are experiencing some feelings of dissatisfaction.  Let everything be just as it is.  This open awareness and acceptance actually transforms everything.

Gratitude is powerful.  It can help relieve depression, heal our bodies and open our hearts.  Realize that everything in your life right now is precisely what you need for your spiritual evolution.  It doesn’t necessarily make sense on a rational level but it does on a deeper soul level.  It’s not so much about “learning to love yourself” as realizing that “yourself” is a fictional character.  All that really exists is love. 

Allow each moment to be as it is and let your actions arise from the state of Loving Awareness. 

Or not.  It’s up to you and me.

Lankavatara

Simultaneously neither here nor here

a wisp of smoke in a dream

Such is this experience

We float in an ocean of nonexistence


Laugh and enjoy the ride

On the Schizophrenic Nature of Modern Yoga

Yoga means complete evenness of mind.

-    Krishna

 

 

Again and again we come back to this question: what is yoga?  Maybe more pertinently, is our modern version of yoga really yoga at all?  The tradition of yoga as it comes to us from India is deeply spiritual.  It is about discovering our true nature – beyond body and beyond the formulations of our mind.  It is about revealing our essential being underneath the layers of illusion, confusion and delusion. 

 

Unfortunately our modern Western versions of yoga have little to do with this.  They seem to be almost completely focused on the body with perhaps some lip service to a higher ideal.  It is yoga designed to appeal to the superficial, consumer mentality.  “Never mind your inner, immortal soul.  Let’s work on toning those glutes.”  This is unfortunate because yoga is a means to our spiritual evolution.  When it is misinterpreted, commercially packaged and commodified, it becomes something more anti-yoga.

 

Dereck Beres has written an interesting and valuable post entitled “The Schizophrenic Nature of Modern Yoga.”  (https://medium.com/@derekberes/the -schizophrenic-nature -of-modern-yoga- 8fe1d14f9b04)  It is an insightful perspective on the yoga industry that has arisen in our culture.  It is an industry that focuses on profits and seeks to credential teachers through an expensive process that is essentially meaningless.  As Beres puts it, “Consider a few aspects of the 200-hour training program, of which there is extremely little oversight from the organization itself. Basically, you mail in your curriculum, pay your fee, they take your money and send you a logo. To stay registered, you keep paying an annual fee.”

 

Then you open your studio, teach physical postures and call this yoga.  It is a travesty.  In truth it is hard to define exactly what yoga is.  There are a variety of approaches, however the methods all lead to one supreme goal: Self-Realization.  Certainly exercise is good for you but exercise is not yoga.  There has to be a deeper teaching, a reorientation of mind and a pointing to the awareness that underlies all experience. 

 

Although I was vaguely aware of “postural yoga” in my younger years, I was mainly motivated by reading the Bhagavad Gita, an exposition of yoga by Lord Krishna.  The “Gita” does not even mention postures (except in reference to sitting for meditation.)  Instead Krishna focuses on meditation, selfless service and devotion.  This is the true orientation of yoga: unifying the individual with the universal spirit.  This seemingly simple formula is a means of transformation and transcendent bliss.  Another book that impressed me deeply was Autobiography of a Yogi by Paramhansa Yogananda.  Anyone has read it knows that it is not full of stories about the asanas he perfected.

 

Hatha yoga is the branch of yoga that deals with asanas, or postures.  It also includes pranayama which is a means of working with the life-force or prana through the breath.  These practices offer wonderful health benefits both physically and psychologically.  Within the yoga tradition they are meant as preliminary practices for meditation.  The Hatha Yoga Pradipika, a classic treatise on Hatha yoga states that it is offered “. . . solely and exclusively for the attainment of Raja yoga.”  Raja yoga is the path of meditation.

    

The practice of Hatha yoga is meant to reduce distractions such as pain and illness, restlessness, lethargy, etc. that get in the way of sitting quietly and focusing inwardly.  The physical benefits such as health, beauty, youthful vitality, etc. are considered “side-effects” albeit very positive ones.  There are other important paths of yoga, while Hatha yoga is a preliminary to Raja yoga, there is also Bhakti Yoga – the path of devotion, Jnana yoga – the path of wisdom, Karma yoga – the path of selfless service. 

 

There are also various types of yoga practice which incorporate aspects of these paths.  Kundalini Kriya Yoga for example combines elements of Hatha and Raja yoga as means of awakening the Chakras (centers of psychic energy within the body), Nadis (energy channels) and Kundalini (the dormant energy potential which leads to spiritual awakening.)  A true yogic lifestyle incorporates aspects of all paths to form Poorna, or complete yoga. 

 

Interestingly Beres dismisses the importance of the Chakras as part of yoga teacher training. Actually the understanding of the elements of the energy body, i.e. chakras and nadis is essential to yoga.  The energy (prana) body underlies the physical and imbalances in it contribute to both physical and psychological diseases.  Yoga helps us to align the physical, energetic, mental and spiritual aspects of our beings.  It is a science of integration and wholeness.

 

If yoga has become schizophrenic in our modern culture it is because it has become disconnected from its roots.  It has been misinterpreted and commodified for modern consumption.  If people are coming to yoga classes primarily for physical exercise they don’t really want yoga.  They want Pilates, or Zumba or something else.  If we are going to call it yoga it needs to have to depth to it and if we are students of yoga we have to look beyond the physical form and be willing to look within ourselves.  If not we shouldn’t be calling our practice “yoga.”

Keeping It Real

“To stay with a broken heart, with a rumbling stomach, with the feeling of hopelessness and wanting to get revenge—that is the path of true awakening.” - Pema Chödrön

 

Sometimes a student in my meditation class will say “I wish I could stay as calm and centered as you.”  It makes me smile, not so much out of pride, as out of the knowledge that I have and continue to struggle with my own share of emotional turmoil.  I have experienced the ups and downs of anger, anxiety, grief and loneliness.  I’ve been through “failed” relationships and have acted ignorantly and selfishly.  I can’t claim some state of perfection just yet.

The spiritual path of rising in love requires that we face all of the emotions that arise out of our ego attachment so that we can learn to let go.  Painful emotions are like a light on the dashboard letting us know that something needs attention.  I can report that over time I feel like I am getting better at observing and releasing attachments.  Of course just when you think you are “there” life will hand you a situation that challenges your equanimity, generosity and ability to remain compassionate and forgiving.

Through meditation we develop the ability to observe our inner thoughts and feelings without reacting to them, judging them or indulging in self-pity.  It takes some practice.  Some people mistake their inner critic for their inner witness.  The inner witness is always kind and compassionate and doesn’t judge.  When thoughts of self-condemnation come up, we can witness those as well. 

There is a passage in the Mundaka Upanishad which uses the analogy of two birds in order to express our dual nature as egos and souls.  “Two birds living together, each the friend of the other, perch upon the same tree. Of these two, one eats the sweet fruit of the tree, but the other simply looks on without eating.”  The empirical ego eats the fruit of the tree of this world, experiences pain and pleasure, attachment and hatred.  The second bird is the inner witness or soul.  Each of us is composed of these two aspects.

Many people are not aware of the soul aspect of themselves because they are completely caught up in the drama of their lives.  However it is ever-present.  It is the source of peace, wisdom and love.  Disconnected from the deeper awareness of the soul, the ego lives in fear and attachment.  When we start to reconnect with the awareness within we have access to ananda – transcendent bliss.  We can relax not taking life or ourselves so seriously.

For my part I too have my feet in both worlds.  At times I have become disconnected and have fallen in love.  Remember “falling in love” is typically to fall into attachment, temporary elation with guaranteed dejection to follow.  Infatuation is a better term.  When we fall in love we forget that love is our true nature and we seek love outside of ourselves in another person.  Or maybe you’ve fallen in love with your car.  In any case we are really objectifying that person or vehicle. 

Sometimes people ask how love can be dispassionate.  Based on our cultural conditioning it is confusing perhaps that true love is based on an inner state of equanimity.  This is because we commonly mistake love for infatuation.  When one is “head over heels” in love and riding a thrilling emotional roller coaster, it is time to take time out and reconnect with one’s center.  Our culture celebrates passion although it can lead to murder in the name of “love.”  Seriously?  Real love means accepting ourselves and others as we are without the need to possess or control. 

Through meditation we develop a connection with our deeper Self.  We become less identified with the ego-self and more attuned to our spiritual essence.  We are able to witness the drama of life with amusement and affection.  We are able to witness our ego-selves in the same way.  When we are established in awareness, compassion, forgiveness, generosity and joy flow forth spontaneously.  As I practice over time I find myself becoming less and less caught up in the ego-drama of the world and more open to simply being present as an expression of love.

People sometimes question the validity of meditation.  After all with so many problems in the world how can one just sit quietly with eyes closed?  First of all, sitting meditation is connected with activity in the world – with karma yoga, or selfless service.  Secondly, meditation is not really a practice.  Although there are certain techniques we use to enter it, meditation is really a state of consciousness.  We develop that state through practice and if and when we are fully established in it we can drop the practice. 

The term “witness” can be confusing to some.  The inner witness does not mean being a passive observer of the world.  Instead it refers to a transcendent meta-perspective through which we are aware of our mind’s activity at a deeper level.  We are able to witness the ego and to enter into silence.  In this way we are able to be present in the world without fear, anxiety, greed or anger.  We are able to be present with both wisdom and compassion.

True transformation of the world begins with a transformation of consciousness.  As we move out of fear and competition based in ego-identification, we move into love and cooperation based in unity consciousness.  We need to be the change we wish to see in the world.  Yoga in its full form which incorporates hatha yoga “postures,” meditation, devotion and surrender, self-inquiry and selfless service, is a profound methodology for facilitating this shift in consciousness.  It is a means for “rising in love.”

Let's Get Naked

Love is your Self. It is your real name and the name of every living being. But, you will not truly know and be this Self-love until you are willing to exchange your identity for Truth.

- Mooji

 

In the Bhagavad Gita, Lord Krishna explains that our physical identity is like a suit of clothes that we shed at the time of death only to don a new suit in our next rebirth.  I remember coming across this passage as a teenager and the tremendous impact it had on me.  The importance of this information is not so much about “reincarnation” which we may or may not believe in.  It is about the nature of our inner, deeper being; the soul or atman.  The teaching points to our inner core of being which is timeless and all-pervading.

In the yoga tradition we regard both body and mind to be instruments or vehicles of consciousness.  They are forms that our formless essence assumes for the sake of human experience.  They are wonderful forms through which we can dance, sing, create make love and stand in awe of nature as it is presented through the mind and senses.  When we are attuned to our inner being we experience life as joyful play.  We incarnated in these forms for the sake of expressing our joyful, loving essence.  Perhaps it seems that somewhere something went wrong.

What went wrong is that we fell into avidya, ignorance.  Remember that ignorance in this sense doesn’t mean a lack of intellectual knowledge.  Instead it means that we have mistaken the unreal for the real.  We have become identified with body and mind and have forgotten our true nature which is pure, loving, “naked” awareness.  Naked awareness is pure awareness, without thoughts, opinions, judgment, or analysis.  It is pure presence.  The whole point of Yoga is to overcome ignorance and once again rest in our intrinsic state of being. 

As we explored in previous posts, our basic nature as pure awareness is obscured by our attachments based on our own mistaken identity.  Our self-nature is love.  We don’t need to seek love, earn love or fear losing it.  Instead we need to relax deeply, surrender our hopes and fears and allow ourselves to be – not this or that, but simply to be.  The spiritual work, sadhana, we do is simply a means of clearing away everything that obscures the light within.  We need to get naked.

Getting naked physically implies a vulnerability.  We have been conditioned to be ashamed of our naked bodies.  Actually getting naked with a group of supportive people can be very liberating.  I went to a Tantric retreat for my first time decades ago.  Honestly I was expecting meditation, talk, mantra and yantra, etc.  I found the retreat center, a large cabin in the forest, walked up the wooden steps onto a beautiful deck with a group of nude strangers lounging in the sun.  All of the sudden I was embarrassed to have clothes on!

In the Tantric tradition nakedness is seen as an expression of one’s deeper nature.  Naked Tantric yogis aren’t out to shock or seduce anybody.  Instead they are present with the body as it is, unadorned, unapologetic and absolutely pristine.  It is a symbolic vehicle of our deeper selves. 

We are beings of consciousness and energy, formlessness and form.  Neither can be denied.  All forms however arise and dissolve within the formless expanse of consciousness, of awareness.  The Yoga Vasishta tells us that on the immense scale of the universe which comes into being through what we now call the Big Bang, expands and collapses after billions and billions of years, there is an underlying consciousness that exists before, during and after.  And, yes that consciousness is present within us.

When I was second or third grade I had a favorite shirt.  It was a forest green (which I called “army green”) corduroy shirt.  I thought it made me look military and badass though I suspect no one else was fooled.  It was also very comfortable.  I wore it so much that it became worn out.  The ribs of the corduroy became worn down and the color faded away.  Still I insisted on wearing it until one day my mother, who was embarrassed to send me to school in it, threw it away.  Although we did find a new shirt that was very similar, I lost my attachment to it.  I was not that shirt!

Similarly we adopt beliefs, roles, and identities that are not who we are on a deeper level.  Our awareness is obscured by our conditioning.  At some point these no longer serve us and may even be ripped away by life circumstances.  Let Mom take your shirt.  Revel in naked awareness!  Awaken to your true nature as Love.  When we let go of concepts, beliefs and descriptions of ourselves and the world we can enter into the abiding peace and joy of our natural state.  When we step out of our minds and open our hearts we can experience the radiant love at the core of our beings. 

Gratitude and Forgiveness

 

 

Perception is a mirror not a fact. And what I look on is my state of mind, reflected outward.

-          A Course In Miracles

 

There is an interesting aspect of quantum mechanics called “entanglement.”  What this means is that two electrons that have become connected through interacting continue to be connected even if they are several thousand light years apart (or several billion for that matter.)  Albert Einstein found this discovery very disturbing and tried to prove that it was mistaken.  However subsequent experiments have proven that it is very much the case.

What this means is that on a basic level we are all interconnected.  What we think, do and feel effects the rest of the universe instantly.  Humanity is deeply interconnected on the level of our DNA.  We vibrate, rise, fall and suffer together.  When Jesus taught us to take care of the poorest among us, he meant that they are us.  We don’t have to invoke some mystical spiritual level of being; in terms of the basic construct of matter, we are one. 

The individual ego, or “I am” is a concept based on false premises.  I might have a local, individual identity, but it is entirely relative and based in a substratum of universality.  The universe is conscious and alive experiencing itself in and through our particular vantage points.  When we cling to the ego’s perspective exclusively we wreck havoc on our souls and create suffering for ourselves and others.  When we expand our view, allowing others under our umbrella of care and concern, then we promote peace and healing.  As the Dalai Lama has said, “All suffering is caused by ignorance. People inflict pain on others in the selfish pursuit of their own happiness or satisfaction”

One way that the ego holds onto its illusory reality is through emotions such as resentment, guilt, contempt, jealousy, disgust or pride.  When we hold on to this kind of energy we shut ourselves off from the universal life force, or prana.  In turn it creates imbalance and illness within our psycho-somatic beings.  Often we try to justify our position through various rationalizations.  I have met so many intelligent people who use their intelligence primarily to defend their suffering.  We create a mental prison for ourselves and argue against the one who would release us.

Gratitude is a profound stepping stone on our path to authentic love.  Instead of nursing past grievances we can try remembering instances of positive experiences.  Even in those instances where we might have been truly and maliciously harmed, we might consider what lessons that teacher (albeit unconscious) had for us.  This doesn’t mean telling a bully who has hurt you “thank you may I have another.”  It means accepting life lessons.  It means refocusing, reframing and reorienting ourselves.  Appreciate what is good in your life experience right now.  If nothing else you are alive to have this experience.

Practicing gratitude changes the brain and lifts us out of depression.  It opens the door of our mental prison and allows us to step out into the sunlight.  Although we can be grateful for past experiences, it is also possible to simply let the past go and open to the joy of this present moment.  This present moment is always something to be grateful for as long as we aren’t comparing it to some past or imaginary experience. 

Forgiveness and gratitude go hand in hand.  It is hard to feel grateful when holding on to grievances.  Sometimes it is difficult to let go.  However we have to remember that we are imprisoned by our thoughts of resentment not the other person.  We poison our bodies with toxic emotions and close ourselves off from healing grace.  While anger, resentment and fear separate us from love, forgiveness reconnects us with the wholeness of being.  It is an internal state.

Forgiveness doesn’t always mean that we give someone the opportunity to hurt us again.  Trust, once broken, takes time to repair if it can be repaired at all.  Forgiveness on the other hand means letting go of anger, resentment and desire for vengeance.  It means letting go and moving forward with life.  The reality is that we can always be hurt when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable.  Worse than the pain though is inner deadness because we have closed ourselves off from others and the world. 

     If we are honest, we might see that much of our anger and resentment is based on our own expectations of others.  Gratitude and forgiveness mean accepting others and things as they are.  If we open to the world this way we are not likely to get hurt – because we are free from attachment.  So the first step in practicing forgiveness might be recognizing how we ourselves have manufactured our grievances.  Then, of course, we have to forgive ourselves!

Looking For Love in the Wrong Places

 

Between individuals, true unadulterated love or fondness is impossible. Where love or affection has grown perfect this question cannot arise, for in such a case, who is the beloved? God and God alone.  – Sri Anandamayi Ma

 

       Romantic love necessarily implies a tension between egos.  Even the love a parent has for her children is generally contaminated by ego-aspirations.  One’s partner and children can easily be mistaken for extensions of one’s ego.  Then when they inevitably violate one’s expectations there is trouble.  When we try to control another; when we criticize, judge and manipulate we have stepped out of love and into ego.  Ego is based in fear and hatred.  It is always about “me.”  Of course we need to find balance in our relationships.  We need to stand up for ourselves and not let others walk all over us.  However these are all strategies of ego which is based in ignorance.

      Opening to and rising in love requires an inner aspiration and willingness to let go of our petty ego-centric concerns.  Not an easy task for any of us because we have been conditioned to believe that we have to defend ourselves.  When we surrender to love we become utterly defenseless.  Our ego boundaries dissolve and we become open to authentic being.  We can’t say “I love only these people (i.e. partners, family and friends) and I don’t give a damn about the rest.”  Once we drop our ego-defensive boundaries we realize that everyone and everything is part of us.  There is nothing to fear and no room for hatred.  Remember as Krishna tells us in the Bhagavad Gita, “The realized being sees the same Self in all beings.”

      Of course, most of us struggle with our less enlightened states of emotion and attachment.  Often the best we can do is to remember to accept and to be mindful of ourselves in relationships.  In this way we can bring higher awareness to all levels of our being, loving and forgiving ourselves and each other.  Intense personal relationships certainly gives us a challenge which can lead to potential growth and awakening.  The key is to be able to detach ourselves from our investment in our ego-generated illusions, to see ourselves objectively and to laugh at our follies.  The regular daily practice of yoga including meditation supports us in this.

      We are conditioned to believe that love depends upon some object.  We think that we will find it somewhere in the world of form, i.e. the right person or relationship (or maybe the right car or shoes).  The problem is that we are looking for love in the wrong places.  Love is a unifying field of awareness which begins with self-love and expands infinitely.  It is the deepest reality into which all our cognitions of separateness dissolve.  We are afraid of love because we believe it will destroy us.  The truth is that it will restore us. 

      Real love means moving beyond attachment, sensual experience and even intellectual experience.  Attachment and clinging originate from our unenlightened root chakra, from avidya.  We can become very sophisticated and refined in our attachment but we are still rooted in ignorance.  Avidya locks us into our ego-identities which are based in fear.  The ego is afraid of waking up because it knows it will discover that it doesn’t exist – at least not in any fundamental way. 

       Real love requires a level of austerity and commitment, refraining from overindulgence in intoxicants, taking care of ourselves and others.  Austerity or tapasya in yogic terms means refraining from those things that seem pleasant but bring misery.  It also means engaging in those things that might seem difficult but which bring happiness.  Get up early enough to practice yoga before you start the rest of the day.  Spend time with someone who needs you even though you’d rather do something else.  Clean up after others without griping from time to time.  Offer a silent blessing for everyone you meet and a sincere smile.

       The concept of separate self and other is avidya, ignorance.  We are all individual expressions of a unitary field; a field of Love-Awareness-Bliss.  Because of the infinite creative potential of this field each of us is truly unique but never separate.  Ego arises out of over identification with our unique individuality to the point of forgetting our universality.  Love is the consciousness of both aspects. 

      One of the biggest traps that we can fall into is the belief in our unworthiness.  When we hold this belief we not only seek for love and approval outside of ourselves but also refuse to accept it if offered.  Someone compliments us and we are sure they are either manipulating or delusional.  We can never be successful enough to overcome it.  We identify with our limited self-definitions and then find ourselves sadly lacking.  It is only when we encounter the unconditional love at the core of our being that we can dissipate this illusion and the suffering that goes with it.  It evaporates when we awaken to our true Self-nature and realize our inherent perfect wholeness.

      It seems paradoxical from the ego-perspective that we can only truly love one another when we truly love ourselves.  From the soul perspective there is no paradox because we are just one Self.  To truly love yourself is to love the entire universe.