The Tantra of Self Love

Sexuality is possible without any understanding, without any meditation. Love is possible only with understanding. Compassion is possible only with understanding and meditation, understanding and awareness.


- Osho
Love, Freedom, Aloneness: The Koan of Relationships

Love is one of those extremely fuzzy concepts hard for the mind to grasp. Today is Valentine’s Day and we are inundated with quotes on love, pretty red hearts and chocolates (which paradoxically are a general substitute for love.) But I think we all know that love is not all about red roses and such. Neither is it all about sex (which, again, is a common substitute.) Love requires understanding. In fact, Swami Niranjan states that “Understanding is more important than love.” To be real, love has to be something more than a sentimental feeling, a momentary lapse of reason or hormonally driven desire. It demands patience, tolerance, openness, a suspension of self-striving. It is a tricky and dangerous affair fraught with perils and possibilities.

Eros, from which we have derived the word erotic, is a force which dissolves boundaries. It is ultimately a doorway through which we can enter the kingdom of non-duality. Instead, of course, we have degraded it to the status of cheap pornography. Pornography, more than anything, represents the ego-bounded self locked in its cage of self-loathing. Or is that just me? Sexual encounters without love are pretty much the same – a desperate attempt to reach beyond our loneliness and alienation. We engage in the outer performance of a deeply spiritual act without any connection to our inner being. When we have that connection Mother Kundalini awakens, otherwise she might hear some muffled sounds in her deep sleep.

What is understanding, though, and where does it begin? Can we truly love and understand another when we are unhappy with ourselves? In her book Radical Acceptance, author Tara Brach refers to “the trance of unworthiness” that so many of us have fallen into. Instead of loving ourselves, we strive for impossible perfection based on unreasonable ideals. We have introjected the message that we are unlovable, even for ourselves – or especially for ourselves. Perhaps we even subject ourselves to an unending stream of verbal emotional abuse. The flip side of this, of course, is projecting our self-hatred out onto the world and others. We may turn to spiritual practice as a way to fix ourselves rather than to truly know ourselves. More commonly, we may use spiritual ideals to beat up on ourselves.

Our egoic state of self-reference is maintained by negative self-talk as much as any other reinforcement. We get to feel comfortable in our cocoons of misery. Sex, drugs and alcohol, food, gambling, etc. become our comforts and distractions while leaving us even more alienated from ourselves and others. We build relationships based on our mutual woundedness and need for self-torture. Of course, we also recognize some positive qualities in ourselves. We may try to push these into the forefront, using them to hide our secret shame and unworthiness. We can’t escape from our private self-maintained prisons, though, until we accept every aspect of ourselves with openness and compassion. We must learn to love our egos before we can surrender them. They are, after all, aspects of our deeper Self.

A mindful yoga practice can help us connect with our bodies in a healing manner. It has been found helpful in overcoming trauma, as well as anxiety and depression. Meditation takes this healing deeper – as long as we are not using it with some idea of transcending (i.e. escaping) ourselves. True spiritual transcendence is inclusive and integrative. It is not about getting rid of the “bad” parts. Mindful awareness is at the heart of the Tantric approach.

Tantra offers an alternative to those spiritual approaches which enjoin us, require us, to live up to ideals that we are not up to. It doesn’t demand that we immediately stop having sex, using intoxicants, or eating meat, etc.* Instead it is a way of bringing awareness into our lives and behaviors. It suggests that we can awaken to our true Self-nature in the midst of ordinary behaviors. However, yoga is included as a means of harmonizing and balancing our energies and developing the capacity to be aware, witness ourselves. Self-acceptance and self-transformation go hand in hand. We can start by truly loving and accepting ourselves as we learn to love and accept others. We are all ultimately expressions of the One Divine Being. We are expressions of universal Love.

*Of course there are limits.  When behaviors become life threatening, or when they threaten the welfare of children, etc. there must be intervention.  Love yourself enough to call for help.

The Tantric Solution

The yogin and the yogini seek neither to attain illusory fixedness
nor to cut themselves off from the world of thought, emotion, or corporeal experience. There is only one motion, one flow, which at every instant attests to our absolute essence.

- Daniel Odier
Yoga Spandakarika: The Sacred Texts at the Origins of Tantra


Tantra, according to our Guru, Paramhamsa Satyananda Saraswati, means “the liberation of energy and the expansion of consciousness.” Energy and Consciousness are the primary constituents of any and all realities that we might possibly experience. They are also the primary constituents of our own beings. On the macrocosmic level Energy is known as Shakti, the Goddess. Consciousness is known as Shiva, or God. On the individual level energy is called prakriti and consciousness is purusha. Prakriti is the field of experience, while purusha is the “knower” of the field. These are the two poles of our experience and they are fundamentally inseparable. They are ultimately relative aspects of non-duality.

As we know from modern physics matter is a form of energy. According to Samkhya, the philosophical basis of Tantra, mind is also a form of energy related to matter. Beyond mind and matter is pure consciousness, or “naked awareness.” Energy underlies all phenomena: thoughts, emotions, sensations and the apparent physical world, which is composed of the five elements, earth, water, fire, air and space (ether.) Consciousness, in this sense, is the subjective aspect at the heart of all experience. It is that mysterious essence which both reflects and witnesses the display of energetic phenomena. It is deeper than the ego, which is really just another form of energy, a thought construct. Ego is the means by which pure consciousness projects itself onto the phenomenal world.

The central iconography of Tantra is indefensibly sexual in nature. Does this mean that Tantra is all about sex? We might say, “No! Well, not entirely.” The symbolism represents the essential amorous connection and unity of consciousness and energy, Shiva and Shakti. Tantra by virtue of its symbolism is a very rare spiritual system which is entirely positive towards sexuality in all of its forms of expression. However, Tantric sadhana, or spiritual practices, are not exclusively sexual, nor is any form of outward sexual activity in any way required. The Tantric approach is also based in an awareness of the consequences of our actions, i.e. karma, which means that we need to refrain from causing harm to others. Rape is not countenanced by Tantra, nor is child molestation. Whatever we inflict upon another we do to ourselves as well.

Yoga is a central and necessary discipline for the Tantric path. As Paramhamsaji said to us, “It is the path of yogis, not of bhogis.” Yoga is the path of disciplined awareness while bhoga is the path of undisciplined indulgence. Yoga leads to liberation, bhoga leads to deeper bondage, or what we might call “addiction.” However, the Tantric understanding is different from our addiction cure programs. Bondage refers to the absence of awareness in our thoughts, emotions and actions. Liberation means accepting and releasing everything within the open space of awareness. This does require practice. The Yoga Spandakarika tells us:

In the absolute sense, pleasure and suffering, subject
and object, are nothing other than the space of
profound consciousness.

The primary elements or “tools” of Tantra yoga are mantra, yantra and mandala. Mantras are sounds more than “words,” vibrations more than meanings. Some people us the term mantra for a positive reminder phrase that they like. This is autosuggestion not mantra. Mantras set up a vibrational field within the body-mind which links us to the vibrational field of the universe. “Man's 'inner being' is constantly in contact with something much greater than the limitations of individuality,” states Paramhamsa Satyananda, “but the average person is not aware of this. Mantra brings about a state of 'resonance' between an individual and the depths of his being.” Yantras are geometrical symbols directly related to mantras. They are considered to be the visual form of the mantra. The Sri Yantra is a well known example:

Mandalas are more elaborate expressions of the yantras in which the Devatas or residing deities appear. These represent the archetypal forms of consciousness/energy which are expressed from within our collective unconscious as Jung called it. The mandala represents the totality of consciousness and energy. Paramhamsaji states, “Each one of us and our every thought forms a mandala. A man and woman in union form a closed unit or circle which can also be a perfect mandala for attaining higher states of consciousness. The guru is a most powerful mandala as he acts as a magnet to draw down cosmic consciousness. He radiates and glows with the light of this great force. It is through the guru that cosmic powers are unleashed and transmitted to the disciple. This is the grace of the guru mandala.”

Tantra yoga includes the hatha yoga practices of asana and pranayama, raja yoga practices to discipline the mind, bhakti yoga attitude of devotion and Jnana yoga self-inquiry. All of these combine to help bring about an awakening of kundalini, the latent power or shakti within us. Kundalini flows upward along the spinal column purifying each of the chakras, or psychic centers, until she reaches the crown chakra and merges with Shiva, pure consciousness. When this happens the practitioner enters the state of Samadhi and achieves Self-realization, liberation and enlightenment. This process unfolds naturally through the practices of Tantra yoga under the guidance of a qualified guru.

Recommended Resources:
 
Kundalini Tantra/2009 Re-print
Asana Pranayama Mudra Bandha/2008 Fourth Revised Edition
Meditations from the Tantras
Tantra: Path of Ecstasy
Tools for Tantra
Yoga Spandakarika: The Sacred Texts at the Origins of Tantra
Tripura Rahasya: The Mystery beyond the Trinity

From Ego to Self

The ego and the Self stand at two opposite ends of our spiritual journey. Our inquiry begins with the ego and culminates in the realization of the Self.
- Swami Shraddhananda

Eastern philosophies whether Yoga Vedanta or Buddhism, tend to regard the reality of our everyday experience as a kind of illusion. In Vedantic terms this is called maya, which is the dualistic world of appearances, name and form. In terms of a modern metaphor; we live in a virtual reality. This reality is constructed by our brain/minds from the frequency fields received through our five senses. It is an interactive and creative process. As physicist John Wheeler put it, we live in “a participatory universe.” Joseph Chilton Pearce writes, “Our perceived environment or lived experience is an end product to which we ipso facto attribute the source of that experience. This common sense, rather inevitable observation is as fundamental an error as attributing the source of the television play being viewed to the machine itself.”

The ego is a character in that play. It is the identity that we assume vis-à-vis the world projected by our psyches. As ego-identified beings we have forgotten the creative source of our experience. This is what Patanjali refers to as avidya, or “ignorance” in the Yoga Sutras. “Avidya,” states the Sutras, “means regarding the impermanent as permanent, the impure as pure, pain as pleasure and the false for the true Self (Atman.)” Everything within our world of experience is impermanent. It is a world in which energy flows into and out of various forms of expression. When we experience a loss in our lives we grieve but somehow the ego still thinks, “It won’t happen to me.” We erect a barrier of psychological denial against the inevitability of death and transformation.

Ego, in this sense, which is different from the psychoanalytic sense, is the product of avidya, or basic ignorance. To reference Patanjali again, “Ego arises out of the false identification of consciousness with the instrument of knowing (i.e. the body-mind.)” The primary field of consciousness from which we originate is infinite and eternal by virtue of not being involved in spacetime. Space and time themselves are constructs of the Self. As Robert Lanza, M.D. writes, “. . . space and time aren't objects -- they're the mind's tools for putting everything together.” Four dimensional spacetime can be seen as the basic parameters of our virtual construct.

In the practice of meditation we are learning to withdraw awareness from its habitual fixation on the senses. This is referred to in Yoga terminology as pratyahara. We are turning away from the projection to explore the process of projecting, the inner workings of the mind. The first step is relaxation. Relaxation means temporarily letting go of the primary drives that keep us engaged in samsara, or maya. These are attachment and aversion. For the duration of practice at least, we stop worrying about how to get what we desire and avoid what we don’t. To truly relax means to let go of seeking or avoiding anything. Of course, this is not so easy. Even when we are sitting with closed eyes in a safe space, our minds are busy recalling past successes and failures, and projecting them onto some imagined future. Meditation does not mean making plans for shopping after your session. Nor does it mean replaying scenes from the past and altering them in an attempt to find some impossible resolution.

Along with relaxation, instead of falling into an unconscious sleep state, we develop the ability to remain present and observe these habitual processes of the mind. Because these processes can be so strong and so frenetic however, we must develop the ability to concentrate. Concentration, or dharana, helps to quiet the mind’s activity. Dharana requires an “object.” The object can be the breath, a mantra, visual image, even a subtle thought that we return to repeatedly. It is a way of centering awareness so that we don’t just get swept away in the next wave of thought. This can be very helpful in breaking the negative cognitive patterns associated with depression and anxiety. Its true purpose is to break the habitual cognitive patterns of the ego, to allow us to see through and beyond them.

This inner practice helps us to develop meta-consciousness, an inner observer or witness. This witnessing awareness allows us to step outside of our usual patterns of mind. It allows us to make changes, to grow and expand consciousness. This witnessing awareness is the presence of the Self. It is the real you, the real me. When we are able to rest and abide for a while in this awareness we have entered into true meditation, or dhyana. Dhyana is the original Sanskrit word which became Ch’an is Chinese and Zen in Japanese. Dhyana means to abide in the Self.

This can be surprising when we first enter into this state of awareness. One finds oneself (Self) somehow outside of the body-mind, not necessarily in the sense of an out-of-body experience (OOBE) as described sometimes, but as a deeper and more expansive awareness which encompasses and transcends the usual ego self-system. It is a deeply relaxed, open and pleasant experience. It can arise very slowly and gradually over a period of practice as we think that there is nothing happening in our meditation. Actually, nothing really “happens.” It is simply a process of going deeper into what is ever-present.

In his most recent book, Be Love Now, Ram Das describes this witnessing awareness:

“One of the first steps in getting free of the attachment to this ego idea is to develop a witness. We have thousands and thousands of me's, but there is one me that is separate and watches all the other me's. It's on a different level of consciousness. It's not just another role; it's part of the heart-mind.

This witness is your leverage in the game. The witness me isn't trying to change any of the other me's. It's not an evaluator or a judge; it's not the superego. It doesn't care about anything. It just observes. "Hmmm, there she or he is doing that again." That witness place inside you is your centering device, your rudder.

The witness is part of your soul. It's witnessing your incarnation, this lifetime, from the heart-mind. It's the beginning of discrimination between your soul and your ego, your real Self and your self in the incarnation. Once you begin to live in this witness place, you begin to shift your identification from the roles and thought forms. As you witness yourself, the process becomes more like watching a movie than being the central character in one.”

The ego tends to be disparaged by many spiritual teachers and aspirants. Although it is an obstacle in a sense, it is also necessary for us to function in the world. The problem is that we become fixated and can’t see beyond our self-definitions. As Ram Das has put it, "The Ego is an exquisite instrument. Enjoy it, use it--just don't get lost in it." The Self is who we really are. It is beyond our self-definitions, imagined limitations, personal likes and dislikes. Although we tend to get very comfortable with these they are like a cage that keeps us confined in a narrow identity and limited experience. The Self has to be experienced to be known. It is not a philosophical concept, nor, of course, is it any kind of objective experience. We find it not in words and discourse but in silence.

References:

Evolution's End: Claiming the Potential of Our Intelligence
The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali: Commentary on the Raja Yoga Sutras by Sri Swami Satchidananda
Biocentrism: How Life and Consciousness are the Keys to Understanding the True Nature of the Universe
Be Love Now: The Path of the Heart

The Illumined One

People think it would be nice to have peace
of mind, to be serene, to be calm, to be undisturbed
by this that and the other.
But as long as you make all those things objects of desire,
you have defined yourself as lacking them, and
a person who is looking for peace is obviously
in turmoil.

- Alan Watts Still the Mind: An Introduction to Meditation

Paramhamsaji suggested we read sections 2:54-71 of the Bhagavad Gita in order to know how to recognize a true yoga teacher. These sections do not refer to her/his perfection of asanas, “poses,” nor does it mention siddhis, or “paranormal powers.” The true teacher is not necessarily a pure vegetarian, nor is she/he even necessarily physically fit, erudite, “good with people,” charismatic, properly attired, old or young, professional, polite, or political correct. The true example of yoga mastery is one who is truly at peace within him/herself.

For those unfamiliar with the “Gita,” it takes the form of a battlefield dialogue between a military leader, Arjuna, and his spiritual guide, Krishna. Arjuna is not at peace within himself. In fact, he is overwhelmed with inner turmoil to the point that he is shaking violently. He is about to lead his army into a civil war in which he has friends and kinsmen on both sides. This war is generally considered to be metaphorical: it is the battle we face daily within ourselves. It is the battle we fight within our relationships, on the job, while we are making important decisions in our lives, when we are facing a crisis; ultimately it is the battle that takes place constantly within our own thoughts and emotions.

It is samsara. Samsara is this game we have bought into in which we just can’t win. We have forgotten our true nature, adopted the ego, desire, aversion and the terror of death. We have chosen to forget that it is all just a game, maya: illusion.

Time and space form the stage, or the battlefield, for this illusion. Krishna explains to Arjuna that birth and death are simply relative attributes of the eternal Self, the Atman within. “The wise,” he explains, “grieve neither for the living nor the dead. . . As the same person inhabits the body through childhood, youth, and old age, so too at the time of death he attains another body. The wise are not deluded by these changes.” The Self lies behind appearances, beyond spacetime. It is the ever-present awareness of Now.

Arjuna becomes curious about the person of true wisdom as described by Krishna and asks, “Tell me of those established in wisdom, ever aware of the Self, O Krishna. How do they talk? How sit? How move about?” (2:54) This opens the way for Krishna’s presentation of what Paramhamsaji called the “true yoga teacher.” Krishna replies:

They live in wisdom who see themselves in
all and all in them, who have renounced every
selfish desire and sense craving tormenting the heart. (2:55)

It is apparent that Krishna is describing one who has transcended ego-identification; one who recognizes the same consciousness shining through all beings. Imagine being free from desire and craving. It is a state of complete relaxation, deep surrender and illumination. When Gurudev recommended this passage and I first read it, I thought, “Damn, I’ll never make it!” However, I have a sense these days of how I can separate myself on an inner level from desires and distractions through the practice of “inner witnessing.” This is our opening to the Self within. Krishna continues:

Neither agitated by grief nor hankering
after pleasure, they live free from lust and fear
and anger. Established in meditation, they are
truly wise. Fettered no more by selfish attachments,
they are neither elated by good fortune
nor depressed by bad. Such are the Seers. (2:56-57)

Some prospective meditators have remarked that such a person sounds to be emotionally flat, perhaps blocked. This is not really the case. The person who is dissociated from his feelings or blocking emotional energy is fighting nonproductively within himself. Instead of relaxed and open she is tight and constricted. Instead of awake and aware she is repressing parts of herself. The Seers as described by Krishna have developed a high level of emotional maturity. They have gone beyond our need to “have things my way.” They simply do not identify with a self-centered ego. They are established in their identification with the unbounded consciousness; with unconditional love.

Many of us, as we begin the spiritual path, may engage in “spiritual by-passing,” a term developed by psychotherapist John Welwood, Ph.D. Instead of engaging patiently in a process of transformation, we pretend to be already “above it all.” Instead of a sometimes painful but accepting awareness of our inner “crap,” we try to deny it, run from it, avoid it all costs. Finally, we have to admit to being “not very spiritual,” i.e. full of self-centered desires and cravings, anger and resentment, anxieties, greed and pride . . . (Augh!)

The truly wise person has explored, experienced, fought with and celebrated all of these aspects of his/her self before releasing them and moving on. There is no instant path to enlightenment. The “shorter” paths are simply that much more intense! We try them at our own risk. A sense of humor is most helpful.

Even a tortoise draws in its limbs, the wise
can draw in their senses at will. Aspirants abstain
from sense pleasures, but they still crave
for them. These cravings all disappear when
they see the highest goal. Even of those who
tread the path, the stormy senses can sweep
off the mind. They live in wisdom who
subdue their senses and keep their minds ever
absorbed in me. (2:58-61)

As we stick with our practice, a gradual process of transformation occurs. Instead of fighting thoughts and emotions, we experience and release them more easily in an open awareness. There is no judgment; the inner battle becomes more like inner play. There is a sense of abiding peace and joy that comes from being connected to the center of our being. But as Krishna warns, there is always the threat, the possibility of getting completely overwhelmed and lost if we are not internally vigilant. There are stories within the yoga tradition of highly regarded teachers who have been distracted by sensuality, desire, intoxication, addiction, etc. and whose students have had to rescue! Eventually, hopefully, we can become firmly established in our inner consciousness. Develop “subject permanence” so that we have an unshakable inner stability. Krishna describes this process:

When you keep thinking about sense objects,
attachment comes. Attachment breeds desire,
the lust of possessions that burns to anger. Anger
clouds the judgment; you can no longer
learn from past mistakes. Lost is the power to
choose between what is wise and what is unwise,
and your life is utter waste. But when
you move amidst the world of sense, free
from attachment and aversion alike, there,
comes peace in which all sorrows end,
and you live in the wisdom of the Self. (2:62-65)

“The senses” are mostly internal. We create our individual model of the world within our brain/minds. Sensual craving has to do with our thoughts and imaginations and our emotional attachments. When we are able to observe these as a passing show in meditation than we are becoming liberated. As a younger aspirant, I was often challenged by sexual thoughts and desires which were difficult to “observe” without reacting emotionally. It was either quit meditating and have sex or be horrified that I was having such “impure” thoughts while supposedly contemplating the Divine. The thoughts and desires can be directed to a myriad of objects though. The problem is not in the objects themselves. In fact, if we simply relax into awareness, let go and surrender – there is no problem at all.

As rivers flow into the ocean but cannot make
the vast ocean overflow, so flow the streams
of the sense-world into the sea of peace that is
the sage. But this is not so with the desirer of desires. (2:70)

With practice we move from being identified as “the desirer of desires” to being the observer of desires; from ego to Self. Krishna:

They are forever free who renounce all selfish
desires and break away from the ego-cage of
“I,” “me,” and “mine” to be united with the
Lord. This is the supreme state. Attain to this,
And pass from death to immortality. (2:71)

There is a lot of talk about enlightenment going around these days and we might wonder what this really means. There are a lot of people who might try to convince us that they are enlightened. But if we use Krishna’s words as a guide and watch these closely we might have a clue. Chagdud Rinpoche was a teacher from the Tibetan Buddhist tradition that I had the privilege to study with as well. He was once asked by someone in the audience at a talk, “How do I know if I am enlightened?” Rinpoche asked, “Do you get angry?” “Yes,” was the reply. “Well, then,” replied Rinpoche, “You might not be enlightened.” To be enlightened seems to mean to be at peace within oneself. It seems so simple.

The practice of Yoga Nidra is a good place to start.  It is a practice of deep systematic relaxation with inner awareness.  You can find instructions in Meditations from the Tantras or Yoga Nidra/2009 Re-print.  I have made a guided practice available as an mp3 at http://soundcloud.com/turiyaom/yoga-nidra.

Join us for Meditation classes in Riverside, CA or Hatha Yoga and Meditation classes in Yucaipa, CA.  Email me at turiyasaraswati@gmail.com for information.  OM.

The Yogic Culture of Enlightenment

In time we envisage the re-emergence of a yogic culture which will influence future generations just as the technological culture has influenced our generation today."


- Paramahamsa Satyananda Saraswati



Paramhamsaji envisioned a new world culture that would be based on the inner technologies of yoga; a culture based in the values of spiritual consciousness. This burgeoning orientation need not be opposed to material technological development, especially in terms of modern medical treatments, or developments that lead to a better standard of living for people. However, it does offer a set of values which are quite different from those of modern Western civilization. Our culture tends to promote self-centered, materialist, consumerist values. We tend to rate ourselves based on material power, looks, possessions, social status, etc. The dark side of our culture is evident in violent crime, domestic violence, addictions, poverty and pollution. We have been led to believe that the pursuit of happiness involves seeking personal gratification without regard to others or to the environment. We have also been taught to look outside of ourselves for the sources of happiness rather than to look within.

Yoga, as it has filtered into our society, is generally equated in the public mind with difficult physical postures, plastic foam mats (what are they made of?) and slender, beautiful people in some Westernized idea of yoga attire. In other words, it tends to be based in ego and almost exclusive attention to outward forms. Although this may seem lamentable in terms of the depth of the yoga tradition as a whole, it actually represents an opening through which true spiritual transformation may occur. Despite our tendency towards “spiritual materialism,” yoga when properly taught is more than a physical discipline. It is training in mindful awareness. Furthermore it has measurable transformational effects in terms of neurobiology. A recent study conducted by the Boston University School of Medicine demonstrated that hatha yoga is more effective than simple exercise (i.e. walking) in increasing levels of GABA. GABA, or g-Aminobutyric acid, is associated with improvement in levels of anxiety and depression.

Yoga, if you remember, is the discipline or science of union; body, mind and spirit. There are four main components of yogic discipline: meditational (of which the physical practices are a preliminary,) devotional, philosophical and practical. True yogic discipline relates to every area of our lives and our beings. Whichever path or practices we take up yoga initiates the unfolding of a developmental process culminating in awakening, enlightenment, Self-realization, spiritual liberation . . . All of these terms represent a transcendence of ego consciousness and an opening to non-dual awareness. Our true nature as infinite spirit doesn’t change but we go through a process of shedding our limited identity.

Although this process has generally been considered to be on a spiritual level there is growing evidence that contemplative practices have definite physical effects. Our brains grow and develop through a process called neuroplasticity depending on where and how we focus our awareness. If we focus on developing positive emotions those areas of the brain are strengthened. If we dwell on anger, fear, resentment, etc. we cause the neurons in those areas to wire together. “What flows through your mind sculpts your brain.” writes Rick Hanson, Ph.D. in Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom. As we have noted earlier, our habitual moods and emotions affect our entire bodies as well, either contributing to illness or helping to build immune response. Meditation has been shown to increase the flow of positive emotions, empathy, compassion, love, and to decrease stress, anger, greed, etc. This is the neurobiology of enlightenment.

The process of enlightenment can be considered as an evolutionary step beyond our inherited instinctual tendencies. In a sense we have two minds or brains within us. One is primarily oriented towards personal survival through “fight or flight.” It is primitive and reactive contributing to stress, hostility and anxiety. The other is able to regulate affect, make conscious choices, experience compassion and empathy. Depending on where we focus attention we can strengthen the activity of one or the other. The development of enlightenment means overcoming the dominance of the primitive level of mind and opening the capacities of the higher evolutionary level. In a sense, we could say that we move from brain to mind; from unconscious neurochemical responses to conscious control of our nervous systems. Enlightenment traditions, such as yoga, suggest that we can transcend the physical altogether.

One of the most important values to cultivate in terms of spiritual development is ahimsa, non-violence. Aggression is a response from the primitive level of our brain/minds. It has dominated the history of our species on the planet through war, enslavement of peoples, interpersonal conflicts, i.e. politics in general. The spiritual path according to yoga, Buddha, Jesus, etc. begins with adopting the practice of non-violence. It is a step forward on the path of evolution into oneness. “Seeing the “other” separate from oneself is a subtle form of violence.” writes Harsh K. Luthar. (http://luthar.com/ahimsa-the-antidote-to-fear/) Ultimately non-violence is enlightenment. It is absolute inner peace.

The first step in the practice of ahimsa begins with non-violence towards oneself. Yoga is to be practiced in a peaceful setting without undue force. Meditation helps to weed out our negative self-talk. Being nonviolent with ourselves means getting rid of any sense of inferiority, unworthiness, guilt, etc., but it also means forgiving ourselves when these thoughts arise. Perfectionism is a form of self-violence. The habit of judging ourselves and others is violent activity. When you practice witnessing your thoughts you might be surprised how many of them contain seeds of violence and aggression, or their flip-side as fear. We can even use the concept of “enlightenment” to beat up on ourselves and others! (I know this, of course, because I am more enlightened than you.)

Because we are alive, it ultimately impossible to be completely outwardly nonviolent. We have to kill to eat, even if we are strict vegetarians. However, our modern culture is extremely violent on many levels. Pollution is violence against our ecosystem, poverty reflects violence built into our economic systems. Ahimsa means committing to reduce violence as much as possible. Ultimately any violence or aggression is self-directed. We are all one interconnected being. A yogic culture of enlightenment means bringing nonviolence into our politics, our personal lives, financial affairs, treatment of animals, treatment of children, treatment of ourselves. Now more than ever it is essential to our survival as a whole.

Self-improvement or Self-awareness?

   In trying to make improvements, that is the way you’ve defined yourself, and therefore you will not be able to use energy joyously because you will be using it with an ulterior motive. In approaching “the problem,” you have defined yourself as a motivated and driven being, as a puppet.

- Alan Watts Still the Mind

The self-improvement industry is a big business. All of us want to improve in some way, whether its losing weight, feeling more confident, developing more concentration, creativity, intuition, compassion, prosperity . . . The list goes on and on. Why shouldn’t we want to improve ourselves and thus our lives? Maybe we need to overcome an addiction or are struggling with chronic or life-threatening illness. Maybe it’s depression or painful anxiety. As a yoga teacher and therapist, I actually encourage people to come to me to work on “self-improvement.” Behind all of the specific problems and issues that we struggle with though is simply the desire to be happy, to be at peace, able to relax and enjoy life.

We tend to think, “If only I was good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, rich enough . . ., then I would be happy and content.” “If only I had the right job, partner, house, car . . .” This list may sound simplistic. Whatever we are struggling with in our lives seems so real and complicated. Even many of the self-help “gurus” have their problems, moments of self-doubt, financial worries, or substance abuse patterns. The celebrities that we admire, emulate and envy are in and out of rehab, relationships, or jail. It seems that true happiness, like true love, is very hard to find.

Could it be, though, that we are trying to improve ourselves before we even know who we truly are? There is a huge tendency for people to think they are who they think they are. Our ideas of ourselves are due to our conditioning: by parents, educational and religious systems, media, friends, work evaluations, etc. All of these sources are interested more in getting us to be the way they want us to be rather than who we are. Of course, many of us judge ourselves critically as well. We learn early to identify ourselves with external factors creating an externalized image of who we think we are. Typically, psychotherapy is aimed at adjusting and helping us to become more realistic and comfortable with our self-image.

Beneath, behind and beyond the self-image is our essential being: who we truly are. By the time we are adults this essential self has often been buried under heaps of self-concepts. Our true self is all but unknown to us. We become the roles we play in life, parent, spouse, career, daughter or son and myriads of others. We can even be caught up in being a swami or meditation teacher. The forms and the roles change though and can leave us feeling a loss of identity. As Deepak Chopra has said, "Any name or label you identify yourself with is false. The real you is unbounded & nameless, beyond all labels." Sometimes it is the pain and confusion that comes from role loss that prompts one to awaken to his deeper nature.

“Meditation” has many connotations for us. Sometimes “self-help” people teach us to use meditation as a tool to achieve some imagined goal. This is not completely wrong. Visualization is a powerful tool for achieving life goals. However, this is not meditation. Many people believe that meditation means “making my mind completely empty.” Most of us know meditation as a particular form of practice. True meditation, however, means being awake and aware within this present moment. The practices are primarily means to overcome the habitual tendencies of our minds to keep us attached to self-definitions, and future hopes and fears. Meditation is a state of consciousness rather than any particular practice.

We can define meditation as “the state of being who we truly are”. As Patanjali tells us in the Yoga Sutras, “Yoga (meditation) means disconnecting from the habitual, conditioned patterns of the mind so that one rests within one’s true self.” We have described this true self as the “inner witness,” however, any description or definition is bound to be misleading. Rather than something or someone outside of ourselves, it is a deeper more basic aspect of who we are. The innermost “I” is witness to all of the mental constructs and activity going on ceaselessly within. Through meditation practice – that is through any of the various means we might use to cultivate this state – this innermost “I” becomes independent from self-definitions, self-images, etc. Within the yoga tradition, this is what is known as moksha or liberation.

There are many, many stages in this process of liberating ourselves from mental patterns. The tendency we have to identify with our constructs is very powerful and very tricky. Whether we identify primarily with this idea we have of “the body,” with our intellectual capacities, with emotions, or intuition, the process of identification is subtle. And it is frightening sometimes to let go! “Wherever I climb,” wrote Nietzsche, “I am followed by a dog called ego.” The real “I” doesn’t need to think “I-thoughts,” it simply knows “I am.” When we are able to let go and to go deeply into our inner being we recognize it as the inner being of the universe, of “God.” As the Christian mystic Meister Eckhart stated, “The eye with which I see God is the same eye with which God sees me.”

We live in a culture and a society which propagates a strong false ego-identity. In a recent article on Huffington Post, Douglas LaBier explores our concepts of psychological health as we struggle with the changing conditions of the twenty-first century. The definitions of self that we developed in the previous century have become increasingly unhealthy, isolating and violent. He writes, “. . . the 20th Century view equated psychologically healthy with adapting to the values and behavior that were culturally rewarded. For example, adversarial competition; power-seeking for oneself; consuming material goods; living with trade-offs between your personal values and outward behavior; depleting resources in disregard for future generations.” This has been our collective definition of ego. The twenty-first century is demanding that we redefine ourselves.

Perhaps it is demanding that we wake up to our deeper being wherein we as individuals are essentially One. This means turning away from the outer world of appearance, which is predicated on our self-definitions to encounter the deeper consciousness within. I am going to borrow from the Upanishads again as translated by Eknath Easwaren. In this beautiful passage from the Aitareya Upanishad, the Sage explains,

Who is this Self on who we meditate?

Is it the Self by which we see, hear, smell and taste,

Through which we speak in words? Is Self the mind

By which we perceive, direct, understand,

Know, remember, think, will, desire and love?

These are but servants of the Self, who is

Pure consciousness.

This Self is all in all.

He is all the gods, the five elements,

Earth, air, fire, water, and space, all creatures,

Great or small, born of eggs, of wombs, of heat,

Of shoots; of horses, cows, elephants, men and women;

All beings that walk, all beings that fly,

And all that neither walk nor fly. Prajna

Is pure consciousness, guiding all. The world

Rests on prajna, and prajna is Brahman.

Those who live in Brahman live in joy

And go beyond death. Indeed

They go beyond death.



So, the suggestion here is that before we seek to improve ourselves, we might be better off inquiring into who we really are, not conceptually but through meditation.

Om.

Join us for Meditation group in Riverside, CA or for Hatha Yoga and Meditation in Yucaipa, CA.  Contact me at: turiyasaraswati@gmail.com
 
References:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/douglas-labier/jared-loughner-changing-face-of-psychological-health_b_807476.html

A Mindful Yoga Approach to Life

Yoga helps you face the ups and downs of life.

- Paramhansa Satyananda Saraswati

It has been over a decade since I was last at the ashram in India participating in that life of disciplined simplicity. Ashram life is outwardly very simple and generally follows a daily routine which includes sadhana, meals, karma yoga, evening kirtan and on auspicious days, satsang with the Guru. The only stress comes from all of the “stuff” that arises within us. Sometimes there was boredom, sometimes a longing to break out of the routine, a desire to be recognized, assume control, or participate in the local gossip. After awhile, I was able to surrender somewhat, let go of self-importance and simply be joyfully present. Then, of course, it was time to return to the “real” world.

An ashram is a communal yoga training center where we can go beyond the superficialities of a weekly yoga class, meditation practice, spiritual books, etc. It is an environment which fosters a moment-to-moment aware presence. If you are lucky it will drive you out of your mind. It is also an environment permeated with spiritual energy. The higher consciousness of Gurudev and some of his senior swamis provides a vibratory field which intensifies one’s awareness, ignites one’s kundalini and bathes one in love and compassion. On the other hand, there is a disciplined austerity and absolutely no sympathy for one’s little personal trials and complaints.

India seemed like a place of little sympathy. One time I was walking along the bank of the Ganges River with a more experienced swami. We saw the body of a young man floating in the water. “His family probably couldn’t afford the wood to burn his body,” explained the swami. Life and death happen. It’s up to us to figure out what to do with them. Each moment is a precious gift which we can squander with complaints or appreciate for what it offers us. I thought of Jesus’ directions to his disciples, “Let the dead bury their own dead.” The Indian culture doesn’t seek to hide or deny the reality of death like we do. Instead it’s in your face.

We tend to think of yoga as a series of practices. Maybe we go to classes regularly. Some people develop the discipline to practice daily. Meditation is at the core of yoga and is a discipline for tackling the wayward tendencies of our minds. However, we have to pay attention to what happens when practice is finished. Do we just return to the same stress, the same complacency and mindlessness? If so we are accomplishing very little. Sometimes I have caught myself going from a peaceful morning meditation to “road rage” as I travel to work. Maintaining a mindful awareness is not easy!

Yoga talks about an inner quality of witnessing awareness, called Drashta in the Yoga Sutras. It is a deeper awareness which stands apart from our usual ego-identified awareness. With ordinary awareness we are aware of some “thing” or another. When the Drashta quality of awareness is present we are aware of being aware; more than that we are able to reflect upon our thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations, etc. without being absorbed by them. Instead of identifying and saying, “I am angry,” we might say, “I am aware of the momentary presence of anger.” Without awareness we might become tense and stressed, or we might act out impulsively creating problems for ourselves.

This inner witnessing awareness gives us perspective on ourselves. We can be aware of subconscious programming which causes us to feel shame, guilt, anxiety, etc. From the witness perspective we no longer identify with these feelings. Instead we disidentify and these habitual thoughts and feelings start to lose their power. This is very different from the tendency to deny, suppress or avoid painful emotions. From the witness perspective we can face them fearlessly. Instead of running away we can stay present. In fact, Drashta does not even judge whether an emotion is painful or pleasant. It is just a transient expression of energy.

Does this mean that we are emotionally detached, blunted, or absent? These are all primitive strategies for avoiding emotions. Instead we are alive to emotional energy but not controlled by it. We are aware of the conditioned thoughts and emotions that arise, not in genuine response to the present situation, but based on past impressions. Drasta is always present as non-conditional loving awareness. As we begin to awaken, we do respond to life differently. The conditioned personality, who we thought we were, gives way to authentic presence: who we truly are. This is not always a smooth process though.



Facing Difficulties in Life


She knows there’s no success like failure
And that failure’s no success at all.

- Bob Dylan Bringing It All Back Home (Reis)

In India it is said that the saints welcome suffering because it brings them closer to God. The rest of us though do our best to avoid it. When things go badly we might become dejected or hopeless. Recently a friend recounted his disappointment at not getting a job he had wanted. He talked about his preparations for the interview, using visualization and positive thinking. When he didn’t hear back following his interview he began to question whether these had any value. I shared his discouragement due to my own unsuccessful job search. Lack of preparation and negative thinking probably don’t work either, though.

The Bhagavad Gita tells us that the mind of one established in yoga is “alike in success or failure.” Through practice one develops an inner equanimity which is not dependent on outer circumstances. This does not mean that one doesn’t care or puts in a poor effort. Instead there is a non-attachment to outcomes. The yogi does her best than lets go trusting that the most appropriate result will happen. Instead of anxiety she experiences inner peace. Instead of being overwhelmed by failure she sees it as another opportunity to present, to laugh and try again. When we relinquish the need to be in control we find that success and failure are illusions. They are artificial judgments in our minds.

It is not easy to accept all the situations of life with openness, love, compassion and trust. The difficulty is in our minds however. Swamiji once said, “There are no problems in life. The problems are all in the mind.” Our real task is to be present, to be alive, committed and open to “what is.” This is where practice comes in. Meditation means working with the mind to develop this inner equanimity. With practice we can gain some control over our own minds, emotions, actions and reactions. This is our primary locus of control. Once we are in control of ourselves we can certainly be more effective in the world.

Join us for Mind/Body Yoga Classes in Yucaipa, CA and Meditation Group in Riverside, CA.  Contact me at turiyasaraswati@gmail.com for information.