Where Is Heaven?

Yoga doesn't start with a promise of heaven, it starts with the theory of the body. Everybody understands the body, therefore, yoga talks about the nervous system, energy, emotions, intellect, brain, glands, hormones, endocrines. Anybody who has been to school can understand this and they can't deny it at all.  – Swami Satyananda Saraswati

I can imagine some of my friends rolling their eyes at the question “where is Heaven?”  After all it is only naïve people who believe in some “pie in the sky when we die.”  Heaven and Hell are imaginary places promised to us based on our behavior.  It’s all part of a reward and punishment scheme to keep us under control.  The question “where is heaven?” might just as well be “where can I find a unicorn?”  Still, heaven and unicorns persist in our collective consciousness.  I’m sure there are unicorns in heaven.   

The naïve medieval view of heaven positions it somewhere above us in the sky.  Astronomy has taken us to the far reaches of the universe without discovering any heavenly realm.  From a psychological perspective we might say that heaven is a projection of our needs and desires.  It is a place of total security like a return to the womb.  Some might see it as a place of sensual gratification denied in this life.  But there are deeper aspects of this concept, this phenomenon referred to as heaven.

For one thing, it is cross-cultural.  Joseph Campbell says, “The realms of the gods and demons - heaven, purgatory, hell - are of the substance of dreams. Myth, in this view, is the dream of the world.”  Even primitive pre-Christian people had some theory of heaven.  Perhaps there is some celestial origin latent in our collective unconscious to which we long to return.  As the mystical poet Rumi put it, “My soul is from elsewhere, I'm sure of that, and I intend to end up there.”  Many of us have a deep longing for something transcendent, something beyond this experience of separation.

Mythological notions of heaven are necessarily dualistic.  Mystics however are able to enter in a nondual state of consciousness which transcends space, time and becoming.  They have gotten a glimpse behind the veil of illusion.  For the mystic heaven is an experience, a state of consciousness.  Remember, Jesus said that “the Kingdom of Heaven is within.”  It isn’t “somewhere” that we go after we die, but a state of being that we can access here and now.  In fact, there is no future outside of our imaginations.  What exists, exists here and now.  It’s up to us whether it is heaven or hell (or some lukewarm space in between). 

In the Vedantist/Buddhist traditions heaven is recognized as an illusion.  We may accumulate enough “good deeds” in this life time to receive a heavenly reward, but just like all phenomenal existence it is only temporary.  As long as the experience of heaven is dualistic it is subject to impermanence.  As long as we believe in heaven as a separate place it dissolves in front of us.  We can only find heaven by letting go of it.  We have to understand that “heaven” lies within us.

Author, Anita Moorjani, writes about her afterlife experience in “Dying to Be Me.”  In it she recounts her struggle with terminal cancer, near death experience (NDE) and recovery.  She reports that the “afterlife” is a place of absolute, unconditional love.  Among other things she writes of her realization, “In truth, I’m not my body, my race, religion, or other beliefs, and neither is anyone else.  The real self is infinite and much more powerful – a complete and whole entity that isn’t broken or damaged in any way.  The infinite me already contains all resources I need to navigate through life, because I’m One with universal energy.  In fact, I am universal energy.” 

It isn’t somewhere far out in the universe accessed after death, it’s something present within us yet unrecognized.  There is Zen Parable recounted by Daniel Goleman in Emotional Intelligence that truly brings heaven down to earth:

“A belligerent samurai, an old Japanese tale goes, once challenged a Zen master to explain the concept of heaven and hell. But the monk replied with scorn, “You’re nothing but a lout—I can’t waste my time with the likes of you!”

His very honor attacked, the samurai flew into a rage and, pulling his sword from its scabbard, yelled, “I could kill you for your impertinence.”

“That,” the monk calmly replied, “is hell.”

Startled at seeing the truth in what the master pointed out about the fury that had him in its grip, the samurai calmed down, sheathed his sword, and bowed, thanking the monk for the insight.

 “And that,” said the monk, “is heaven.”

The sudden awakening of the samurai to his own agitated state illustrates the crucial difference between being caught up in a feeling and becoming aware that you are being swept away by it. Socrates’s injunction “Know thyself” speaks to this keystone of emotional intelligence: awareness of one’s own feelings as they occur.”

The Kingdom of Heaven is within you.  It is a choice.  It requires awareness.  Which do you choose: Fear or Love?

Yoga is a practical science of awakening.  The physical practices of yoga, or asanas, help us to balance ourselves on a biological level.  They enable us to bring body, mind and spirit into balance.  Hatha yoga is not meant to glorify the body or our identification with it.  It is meant to help us to develop true meditation.  Meditation is the true key to the realm of heaven.

Facing Change

Growth is painful.  Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong.  – Mandy Hale

You might have noticed that everything changes.  Things change, people change, the weather changes and our beliefs change.  The pre-Socratic philosopher Heraclitus said “The only constant is change.”  He said that a long time ago but now we live in an age of accelerated change.  Sometimes for the better sometimes not – at least according to our temporary judgements.  Our view and opinions also change as we receive more information.

We are always going through a process of growth and evolution.  When we are younger growth takes place on the outside, within our bodies as they develop.  As we get older we evolve in terms of consciousness.  If we are blessed, we develop wisdom.  If not we might get to try again next lifetime. 

The Buddha referred to this process of constant change as “impermanence.”  Like Buddha, Patanjali addresses impermanence in the Yoga Sutras.  “One who is truly wise,” he states, “realizes that all experience is fraught with suffering due to change.”  He goes on to identify the different aspects of change. 

Change occurs in the objects of our experience.  For example your favorite cup might get broken, or your favorite show get cancelled.  Your lover might have a change of heart and leave or your beloved pet might die.  When we get attached to a certain object we become vulnerable to disappointment and grief.  This is a natural part of our humanness.  Wisdom teaches us that “all things must pass.” 

Another source of suffering is our expectations.  We think something should be as we want it to be and it’s not.  For example: we are in a hurry to get somewhere and run into a traffic jam.  Or maybe we expect people to be more kind and considerate when they’re not.  Expectations are within our minds not within the objects we encounter.  Of course, it is always nice when things turn out the way we want them to be.

Suffering also results from our conditioning, from our past experiences.  We have all suffered some past trauma that can insinuate its way into our present experience.  This can be a big problem in relationships.  It can impair one’s ability to trust or impair one’s judgement as to whom to trust.  Past conditioning keeps us from being open to life as it is.  Life is an adventure; it’s fraught with uncertainty.  It’s neither good nor bad, it just is. 

Our mind(s) create the outward representation that we call reality.  Mind is an instrument of consciousness.  Nothing that we experience is ultimately real.  Instead it is the ever-changing expression of energy which is inherently unstable.  If the energy were stable nothing would ever happen.  Within each of us however there is a center of inner peace and bliss.  Beyond our anxious thoughts and painful memories there is an inner place of silent sanctuary. 

When we are able to establish our mind in that inner source of peace and joy we become impervious to the changing conditions of this world.  At the same time we can witness and enjoy the ongoing transformations of energy that comprise our experience.  Ultimately we come to understand that change, like death, is an illusion and that consciousness alone is real. 

Labor of Love

 



Live in love, breathe in love, sing in love, eat in love, drink in love, talk in love, pray in love, work in love, think in love, move in love, meditate in love and die in love.

-          Swami Sivananda

 

In the Yoga tradition there is what is known as the path of Karma Yoga.  It is the path of “action,” of service.  While we usually think of meditation as passive, Karma Yoga is meditation in action.  In the Bhagavad Gita, Krishna gives instruction in how to practice.  “Act selflessly,” he instructs, “without any thought of personal profit.”  He continues, “Strive constantly to serve the welfare of the world; by devotion to selfless work one attains the supreme goal of life.  Do your work with the welfare of others always in mind.”  We might notice some similarity here to the teachings of Jesus Christ.

Now this might seem like hard medicine for those of us raised in the modern Western world where we have been taught to put ourselves first.  Competition is the name of the game and one always questions, “What’s in it for me?”  Even with our spouse or lover we might be primarily thinking of meeting our own needs.  However this strategy insures that we continue to feel disconnected and alienated.  It is not a strategy of love, not even true self-love.

Serving others is where we find joy.  As we grow spiritually we move from a consciousness of having, to doing and from doing to being.  “Having” consciousness is self-centered and our sense of self and worth is based on how much we have.  “Doing” consciousness is less selfishly motivated but our sense of self and worth is based on our accomplishments, our sense of how important our job is or how much we “sacrifice” for others.  Having and doing in this sense are both strategies to maintain and fulfill our egos; our sense of separateness and self-importance.  However, it is possible to use “doing”, i.e. karma, to transcend the limited vision of the ego.

Being is based on the recognition of who we truly are.  It is based on the recognition of our interdependence and that we are beings of love.  Love is not an action per se, although certain actions arise from love.  Love is a state of being: “the” state of Being.  In deep meditation we transcend the body/mind and gain a recognition of our deeper Self.  Through Karma Yoga we transcend our limited ego identification.  It works best if we can practice both, sitting for meditation twice daily and working in between. 

How do we arrive at the state of being love?  In meditation we do this by stilling the body and observing the mind allowing us to go deeper than the mind into inner silence.  Through Karma Yoga we observe the mind as we engage in activities.  We remember to be aware and catch ourselves thinking of the future, or the past, daydreaming, anything that keeps us from being present and performing in the best way possible.  Ultimately it is about being present and engaged.

During my initial stay at my Guru’s ashram I was instructed to perform Karma Yoga daily.  For several weeks I was assigned to the office where we prepared envelopes for sending subscriptions to the magazine.  Each envelope was hand addressed and the subscriptions were thousands world-wide.  I struggled daily with boredom and difficulty concentrating.  A lapse in concentration would mean the possibility of writing an address incorrectly.  I found myself longing for our lunch or tea break, thinking of other things that I would prefer to be doing, etc.  Every once in a while I would remember that I was dedicating this work out of love for my Guru and for everyone on the mailing list who was waiting for their monthly dose of inspiration.  Now and then I might find myself in the “flow” where my actions seemed to be taking place effortlessly.

Ultimately we serve others best when we are present, attentive and appreciative of their being.  “We feel supported when somebody is fully present, open, nonjudgmental, available, caring, and silently attentive.” writes Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche.  We serve and support others and ourselves through our state of being no matter what we are doing.  It is not about being rewarded or appreciated.  Being present is its own reward.  Love is its own reward. 

Perhaps the best way to approach it is to simply try to be a little less selfish each day.  Remember to be present and to think of others from time to time.  Work for the sake of the work rather than simply for the pay.  Be cheerful, friendly and compassionate with others, at least now and then.  Try not to get too anxious about results.  Do your best and trust the Universe.  If you find yourself feeling resentful then take a break from serving others.  Resentment might mean that you are not taking care of yourself.  Remember that self-care is not selfish.  You cannot give to others if you are depleted.

Take a break and relax into deeper awareness.  Tap into your inner resources of faith, love and confidence.  Your true Self is bigger than anything or anyone you are dealing with in life.  Appreciate this moment with all it has to offer, whether lessons, bliss, pain or neutrality.  Life changes from moment to moment but sometimes we don’t notice because we aren’t paying attention.  Underneath it all is the spaciousness of pure presence, of love.  Know that that is who you are.



 

Inner Yoga

 

The firm control of the senses and the mind is the yoga of concentration (dharana).  One must be ever watchful for this yoga is difficult to acquire and easy to lose.  – Katha Upanishad

 

Most yoga classes seem to focus primarily on asanas – the physical postures of yoga.  The practice of asanas is truly valuable, it promotes flexibility, mobility, circulation and overall physical and psychological balance.  It is an essential aspect of yoga, one of eight aspects or “limbs” of yoga.  If we only practices asanas, we are missing out on other equally essential aspects of yoga.

Yoga is a methodology of self-transformation.  However it is not a matter of making ourselves into something we are not but of clearing away the stuff that keeps us from knowing, living and expressing our authentic being.  Asana works with the physical body and its energy (prana.) The body is the physical, outer vehicle of the soul.  Pranayama, or breath practice, compliments asana by bringing the life energy into balance.  In Satyananda’s integral yoga asana and pranayama are always practiced together along with some form of meditation practice.  This is because it is necessary for the outer vehicle (karana), i.e. body, and the inner vehicle (antarkarana), i.e. mind, to function in an optimum state of balance and harmony for the essential Self (atman) to manifest through them. 

The Yoga Sutras outline eight aspects or limbs of yoga: 1. Yama (self-restraint), 2. Niyama (fixed rules) http://mindful-yoga.blogspot.com/2012/08/finding-moksha-through-yama-and-niyama.html 3. Asana (posture 4. Pranayama (breath control) 5. Pratyahara (sensory withdrawal) 6. Dharana (concentration) 7. Dhyana (meditation) 8. Samadhi (transcendental consciousness).  Of these the first four limbs are known as the “outer limbs” (bahirangas).  This is external yoga which helps to prepare our vehicle for the next four which are known as the internal limbs (antarangas).  The outer limbs of yoga are important preparation for the inner. However we might want to avoid being stuck on the superficial level.

The inner limbs of yoga are what it’s all about.  I like to joke with my students who are struggling with asanas by pointing out that working with the body is easy when compared to working with the mind.  In truth, working with the body is working with the mind.  Our Western notion that they are separate is not part of yoga.  Working with the body helps us to understand “it” as the vehicle of our awareness.  “The aim of yoga is the complete cessation of the mind. The body is like a container, or pot. The mind is like water. The slightest movement of the pot disturbs the stillness of the water. Therefore unless the body remains, through practice, in a state of rest, the mind within can never reach a state of tranquility. The tranquil mind, through yogic practice, reaches the state of non-mind, which is the supreme state of samadhi, or total God Consciousness.”  (Shudhaanandaa Brahmachari)

Nirvikalpa Samadhi is the ultimate state of consciousness according to yoga.  It is a state of complete ego-transcendence and nondual awareness.  It is a state unfathomable to our ordinary ego minds.  At the same time it is a state of contact with absolute reality beneath the mirage of name and form.  This may be hard to understand and one might ask, “Why would one desire this Samadhi?”  It is because it is freedom; freedom from suffering on all levels: physical, psychological and spiritual.

Because we are immersed in ego consciousness, i.e. duality, we either tend not to recognize how miserable we are or we simply accept it as inevitable.  Ego consciousness locks us into suffering.  As Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche explains, “We must recognize ego for what it is—a pain identity. We have a constant dialogue of pain talking to pain, which is what usually guides us or drives us, sometimes driving us crazy. And no matter how smart or sophisticated, ego only operates within the logic of pain, and therefore produces more pain. Perhaps it is time to discover there is something other than ego to turn toward and to trust.” 

Spiritual evolution begins with what yoga refers to as pratyahara, disconnecting from the appearances of the senses. It is about turning inwards to investigate our inner being. Instead of paying attention to what we see, hear, touch, taste or smell meditation entails being aware of the inner dimensions of our beings.  The sense are like doors which we learn to close in order to find inner peace and quiet.  Ultimately meditation leads us into awareness of the ultimate subjective essence of our beings, the experiencer apart from any particular experience.

When one begins to introvert awareness one encounters the mind.  Actually we encounter what is often referred to as the “monkey mind.”  The monkey mind jumps from one thought to the next constantly.  It is completely addicted to the sensory world and its various dramas.  It is also beset with underlying unconscious traumas and desires.  The monkey mind is completely concerned with security and pleasure.  It is present in all of us and can be an obstacle to meditation.

We also encounter the verbal autonomic mind, which Carlos Castaneda refers to as the “inner dialogue.”  “The internal dialogue is what grounds people in the daily world. The world is such and such or so and so, only because we talk to ourselves about its being such and such and so and so. The passageway into the world of shamans opens up after the warrior has learned to shut off his internal dialogue.” Our internal dialogue is really just a somewhat sophisticated instrument of our monkey minds.  It is a symbolic map of reality that we take to be reality itself, forgetting that reality itself is always a mystery.  In this regard the shaman, yogi and mystic are all quite similar.

The next step as we climb the tree of yoga is dharana.  Dharana means focus, concentration and mental discipline.  Many claim that concentration is difficult.  The reality however is that we are always concentrating on one thing or another.  Dharana means taking control of the automatic movements and fixations of our minds.  This is actually the most important task we can undertake in our lives.  Dharana means mastering attention.  Attention-energy is our most essential power.  It is the basis of our experience, of our “reality.”  At the same time our essential power has been subject to unconscious conditioning which has enslaved our souls. 

Dharana or concentration is an essential discipline for the mind. Ordinarily, our minds are dissipated and beset with worries, fears, regrets or fantasies. Dharana helps us to reclaim the creative power of the mind. Remember: your thoughts create your reality.  "The firm control of the senses and the mind is the yoga of concentration. One must be ever watchful for this yoga is difficult to acquire and easy to lose." Says the Katha Upanishad.

It is so important for us to gain control over our attentional patterns.  Our world of experience is created out of them.  They are the basis for the neural circuits in our brains.  They determine our perceptions, emotional responses and behavior.  As young children we live in a dream world.  Are brains operate at a theta brain wave frequency which is both very creative and very open to suggestion.  It is during these early years that we are programmed by our culture into perceiving and believing in our consensus reality.  As Don Miguel Ruiz writes:

“Attention is the ability we have to discriminate and to focus only on that which we want to perceive.  We can perceive millions of thing simultaneously, but using our attention, we can hold whatever we want to perceive in the foreground of our mind.  The adults around us hooked our attention and put information in our minds through repetition.  That is the way we learned everything we know.

By using our attention we learned a whole reality, a whole dream.  We learned how to behave in society; what to believe and what not to believe; what is acceptable and what is not acceptable; what is good and what is bad; what is beautiful and what is ugly; what is right and what is wrong.  It was all there already – all that knowledge, all those rules and concepts about how to behave in the world.”  (The Four Agreements)

The problem is that underneath this veneer of a world and ego self, there is our soul.  There is a dreamer behind the dream.  Yoga is a means of awakening both within the dream and beyond it.  As Swami Sivananda Radha put it, “Yoga is a process of dehypnotizing and waking up.”  As we awaken it is just like lucid dreaming.  We develop the ability to “manifest.”  However as we further awaken we start to lose interest in dream realities and more prone to rest in the peace and bliss of our own true being.  We realize that within everyone we meet there is a luminous divine being who is lost in this dream.  Awakening and liberating ourselves and others becomes the issue of paramount importance. 

The next limb on the tree of yoga is dhyana, or effortless meditation.  Dhyana arises out of dharana.  In other words, meditation is not something we practice but a state of consciousness.  It develops with proficiency of concentration.  Focusing on one thing enables us to bring the mind into a state of quiet and stillness.  With the arising of dhyana we are able to abide in that stillness for longer periods of time.  Dhyana is actually the initial stage of awakening.  It is a wonderful state of peace in which the world and its concerns fall into the distant background.  It is a taste of moksha, or liberation; freedom from stress, pain, disease, striving or avoiding. 

The final branch on the tree of yoga is Samadhi.  The Sanskrit term, Samadhi, means “to be established in a state of perfect equilibrium.”  Again this is not a practice so much as a state of consciousness.  It arises out of going deep into dhyana.  There are various stages of Samadhi but they can be reduced to two primary categories: “savikalpa” and “nirvikalpa.”  Savikalpa Samadhi is based on the inner union of the meditator and the object of meditation.  It implies an attachment to either a “gross” sensory object of attention or a subtle mental “object.”  As long as there is dependency on an object there is a tendency to fall back into ordinary, dualistic consciousness. 

Nirvikalpa Samadhi is something else.  In this state all sense of a separate ego is transcended.  One’s individual consciousness is merged completely with Universal Being, Sat-Chit-Ananda.  As Swami Sivananda explained,

“Nirvikalpa Samadhi is pure absolute consciousness.  It is Christ consciousness.  Here there are no names and forms, no sound or color, neither matter nor energy.  Jesus said, “The Kingdom of God is within you.”  The Kingdom of God is not a place but a state of consciousness.  It is non-dual consciousness wherein the mind, senses and intellect cease functioning.  It is the realm of intuition.” 

It is a common misinterpretation to assume that the goal of yoga is to escape from this world completely.  The problem is that on our lower level of consciousness we can’t understand what Samadhi entails.  It is complete connection with our Source energy.  Realized beings become very powerful agents for consciousness evolution in this world, if that is what they are called to do.  Seeking Samadhi is not selfish as much as self-purification.  As Ram Dass says, “The only thing we have to offer to others is our own state of being.”  Samadhi allows us access to a state of absolute, unconditional love.  I can think of nothing better than to be in and live in that state.

The Love of God

 

The eye through which I see God is the same eye through which God sees me; my eye and God's eye are one eye, one seeing, one knowing, one love.

Meister Eckhardt

 

For many of us “God” is some mysterious entity apart from us and our world of experience.  We love such a God abstractly as our creator and benefactor (as well as fear him as our judge and punisher.)  Such a God is truly hard to love and sometimes when we look at the apparent evil and suffering in this world we are tempted to become angry and resentful.  Or we may simply lose faith.

Meditation traditions teach us to look for God within ourselves.  However, this might seem like ultimate hubris.  After all, how can a miserable sinner claim to be God?  And as ego-identified beings we can’t because we have separated ourselves from God.  In fact, all of the apparent evil and suffering in this world is rooted in this sense of separation, in ignorance or avidya.

It is by breaking down the internal structures that prop up the ego that we can awaken to the reality that God is Love.  On the other hand, the ego structures dissolve with the awakening of love as well.  God is not something or someone apart from us but is our deepest most essential being.  As Anita Moorjani writes in Dying to Be Me, “In truth I am not my body, my race, religion, or other beliefs, and neither is anyone else.  The real self is infinite and much more powerful – a complete and whole entity that isn’t broken or damaged in any way.  The infinite me already contains all the resources I need to navigate through life, because I’m One with Universal energy.  In fact I am Universal energy.”

The Bible tells us that idolatry is a sin.  A sin is actually a mistake.  It is a mistaken perception.  Our biggest sin is to believe in the “idol” of duality.  This is what causes the whole cascade of negative emotions based in fear.  Duality is not invalid as a perception but our belief that dualistic perception is ultimate reality is.  The ego buys into duality, believes that it is the body, race, religion, etc.  Spirit is beyond any of our mind-forged, limited definitions. 

Spiritual practice can seem like a tricky proposal.  On one hand it is the ego that believes that it must engage in some practice to make “spiritual progress.”  On the other hand authentic spiritual practice systematically breaks down the subconscious structures that support duality.  Meditation helps us to observe thoughts rather than be controlled by them.  In this way it can lead us into the deeper inner silence.  Inner silence is where we discover our spiritual essence.  It is an inner state of peace, love and freedom.  As one of the members of our meditation group says, “Meditation is like a mini-vacation without having to go anywhere.”  With on-going practice we start to realize that meditation is our true home. 

Meditation is facilitated by Bhakti yoga: the yoga of love and devotion.  Most practitioners need the support of an “Ishta Devata,” a particular form in which to worship God.  In a sense this may seem like idolatry, however the purpose is to transcend duality so that self and God are recognized as the same Being.  So it doesn’t matter if one is devoted to Jesus, Buddha, Krishna or Kali.  I like to say that I prefer Ganesha because I like my god as a fat little boy with an elephant’s head.  (There is actually deep symbolism in the image of Ganesha, as well as other meditative images, which speaks to a deeper part of our psyches.) 

The primary practice of Bhakti yoga is kirtan, or devotional chanting.  Kirtan involves the elements of mantra, melody and rhythm which together have a powerful harmonizing effect on mind, body and spirit.  As Krishna Das a renowned Western practitioner says "Chanting is a way of getting in touch with yourself. It's an opening of the heart and letting go of the mind and thoughts. It deepens the channel of grace, and it's a way of being present in the moment."  Following chanting we can let ourselves move easily into that state of inner silence.

If you are unfamiliar with kirtan you might begin by listening to the recordings of Krishna Das, Girish, Karnamrita, Ragani, Temple Bhajan Band, etc.  Also look around for opportunities to join a kirtan gathering.  If you are in my area you a certainly invited to join ours!  The most important things is begin to sing along, let your heart open and be expressed through your voice.  Dancing is optional but very acceptable.  Let go of preoccupations, self-consciousness and concerns about your musical abilities.  Let go of ego and open to Love.

* Here is a taste of kirtan.  Just me without rhythmic or vocal accompaniment: https://soundcloud.com/turiyaom/om-namah-shivayasri-krishna-govinda

Recognizing Our Innate Perfection

 

 

Our divine perfection – not registered by the physical eye but only by the heart’s knowing – is who we truly are. Our mortal imperfections – registered by the physical senses – are not who we truly are. Yet we keep trying, in love, to find each other’s perfection within the world of imperfection. And it simply is not there.

-          Marianne Williamson

 

The very idea that we are whole and perfect in and as who we are tends to upset some people.  We have been conditioned to think of ourselves as flawed, subject to “original sin” or victims of random genetic mutation.  In terms of psychoanalysis we are inherently driven by lust and aggression.  In our competitive society we are always comparing ourselves to one another, envious of another’s success and anxious about our own.  Sometimes we connect with someone on a deeper level, but even then we tend to mistake their form for their essence. 

The place to start though is not by trying recognize someone else’s inherent perfection but accepting one’s own.  There are so many layers of judgment, expectation, criticism and self-condemnation that we heap upon ourselves that it requires some serious effort to learn to love ourselves as we are.  We certainly are not raised to believe in our innate self-worth.

I was raised in a Catholic household and started going to confession at age seven.  I remember thinking that it would be great if I got killed in an accident immediately following confession before my sinful nature caused me to mess up again.  Public school wasn’t any better.  I was constantly criticized for my behavior and this was reinforced by my parents when I got home.  I tried sports but was mediocre at best.  I loved art and got some recognition for my talents but never felt they were truly good enough.

Of course my story is similar to everyone else.  We are judged and criticized for our behavior, grades, looks, abilities and more.  We end up feeling like we are never quite good enough or truly worthy of love and respect.  We learn to judge and criticize ourselves in order to beat others to the punch.  We believe that we need to perform and achieve in order to be worthy of our existence. 

This whole idea of unworthiness is a game we’ve learned to play in our minds.  We were born worthy as expressions of universal life-energy.  There is never a moment when we are not loved and appreciated as children of God.  We are beings of love, loving and lovable.  It is the lies of the world that have given us this notion of unworthiness.  Spirit doesn’t consider whether we are worthy or unworthy, doesn’t judge or condemn.

When one lets go of self-judgment, comparison and condemnation, one is truly able to love without lust, anger, jealousy, etc.  Self-love is the entrance way into realization of one’s true nature, one’s innate perfection. 

The best way to begin is to develop the ability to witness oneself.  Instead of identifying with thoughts, feelings, or sensations we can learn to be aware of them.  Instead of believing our thoughts about ourselves we can learn to observe them simply as thoughts.  Instead of being overwhelmed by our emotions we can experience and release them.  We have been taught to feel guilty about our negative mental states: desire, anger, greed, delusion, pride and jealousy.  If we face them, however, with open awareness they are transformed and actually bring us back to our essential nature as beings of love.

When we start to let go of the core belief of our unworthiness we start to glimpse our innate perfection.  Everyone experiences negative mental states from time to time.  They are part of nature.  However we don’t have to let them define or control us.  Nor do we have to fight and suppress them.  Instead we can simply observe them as they arise within us and let them be transformed through awareness. 

If we pay attention to life around us we notice that murderers, thieves, addicts can be transformed through grace and that wealthy, successful, beautiful people can be inwardly quite miserable.  The outward appearance of things is deceiving.  Underneath it all is just the perfect wholeness of being expressing in its infinite variety.  We are never not whole.  Each and every one of is God in disguise. 

No Soul Left Behind

“May I attain Buddhahood for the benefit of all sentient beings.”

-          Bodhisattva Vow

 

One reason I am attracted to Buddhist thought has to do with this ideal of the Bodhisattva.  A Bodhisattva is a being who has not only undertaken the task of becoming enlightened but, once enlightened, has vowed to remain in the realms of suffering in order to liberate others.  In fact the vow or intention is to remain in samsara until all beings are liberated.  So the bodhisattva (i.e. one who has taken the vows) forgoes the bliss of ultimate transcendence in order to be of service to others in their spiritual awakening.  The realization of our interconnectedness and the compassion that arises from this is a core aspect of Buddhist doctrine.

I was brought up as a Christian (although I doubt that Christianity as now defined and practiced has much to do with the actual teachings of Jesus Christ.)  As a child I was taught that certain of us would be saved both because we held the correct belief system and because we tried really hard to be good.  Of course, even if we were bad, we were forgiven by virtue of adhering to the correct belief system.  I even heard the idea expressed that those of us who made it to heaven would look down upon those poor bastards in hell with a justified sense of superiority. 

The Bodhisattva is ready to descend into hell in order to help those poor bastards out.  I’m sorry but this is a core distinction in spiritual thought.  It is the difference between dualistic vision and nondual awakening.  As a facebook friend and teacher, Shambhavi Sarasvati, puts it, “Everyone, without exception, is a small fish in a small pond. That is, until you realize there is only one fish, but then size doesn't matter.”  (And all this time I was worried about size.)

Seriously though, compassionate love, or agape, as Jesus taught is about recognizing our unity within our diversity.  It is realizing that we are all here as a temporary stopover on an eternal journey home.  We will only get “there” when we realize that we are one and already home.